Episode 4 Enmeshment :Losng Yourself in Connection
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Today we’re talking about something many survivors feel, but don’t have language for enmeshment.
Enmeshment is not love.
It feels like love at first… but it slowly erases you.
If you’ve ever felt like someone’s mood controlled your peace,
If you’ve lost clarity, boundaries, or your sense of self in a connection,
If walking away felt like losing oxygen
This episode is for you.
We’re going to talk about what enmeshment is, why it happens, how it happens, how to recognize it, how to avoid it and what God says about it.”
WHAT IS ENMESHMENT (Word for Word Teaching)
“Enmeshment happens when emotional boundaries between two people become blurred or nonexistent.
It’s when:
• Their feelings become your responsibility
• Their needs outweigh your own
• Their approval determines your worth
• And separation feels threatening instead of neutral
Enmeshment is not closeness.
It’s fusion.
You’re not choosing the relationship
you’re surviving inside it.”
WHY ENMESHMENT HAPPENS
“Enmeshment doesn’t start in adulthood.
It starts in childhood.
It happens when a child learns:
Love must be earned
Safety depends on pleasing others
Boundaries cause abandonment
And connection equals survival
Many of us grew up emotionally fused to a parent who:
Needed us emotionally
Couldn’t self-regulate
Used guilt, fear, or obligation
Or made us responsible for their feelings
So later, our nervous system confuses attachment with identity.
