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What’s it like to be a 110-pound purple belt who trains mostly with men? In this episode, Emily talks with Melinda Spencer about six years on the jiu-jitsu mats—and how training with different partners has shaped her skills, confidence, and perspective.

Melinda shares how she found jiu-jitsu after years of powerlifting, CrossFit, and bodybuilding, and what it’s like to keep showing up while balancing work, family, and a busy life. Together, Emily and Melinda explore the realities of being one of the few women in class: building trust with training partners, navigating size and strength differences, and finding the courage to speak up or say no when needed.

They also discuss how jiu-jitsu can help you stay calm under pressure, why training with both men and women has value, and how lessons from the mats can show up in everyday life. Plus, Melinda shares her favorite techniques, her ongoing purple-belt journey, and why she plans to keep training for the long haul.

Whether you’re a grappler, curious about starting jiu-jitsu, or interested in the confidence that comes from taking on a hard challenge, this conversation offers an honest look at learning, belonging, and growing on the mats.

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I got to sit down and talk with Pepper, who spends her time not only training in jiu-jitsu, but also helping teach the next generation of little grapplers. And I think there is something really special about watching kids discover jiu-jitsu — especially young girls who are learning that they can be strong, capable, confident, and completely comfortable taking up space on the mats.

We’re going to talk about Pepper’s own journey in BJJ, what brought her to teaching kids, what she sees in the girls she works with, and why getting more young girls involved in jiu-jitsu could have a huge impact on the future of our sport.

Because let's be honest — the girls on the mats today are the women we're going to be rolling with tomorrow.

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Deja Fabro balances a unique life as both an educator, and a stand-up comedian, using humor to connect with her students and fellow jiujitsu practitioners. In this episode, she shares how laughter can be a powerful tool in both her work and her jiu jitsu practice.

Dual Life for Deja Fabro

Deja works with college students who have developmental disabilities, coaching them to succeed academically. When the sun sets, she transforms into a comedian, finding joy in making people laugh. She believes laughter is essential to coping with life’s challenges: In the episode Deja shares about how she started jiujitsu about the same time she started standup and the parallels between the two. Deja was real, funny, candid, and tough. Which one do you find more intimidating- open mats or open mics?