Self-sufficiency feels like stewardship, but what if it's actually working against the very thing God designed the body of Christ to do?
In this episode, I share how a living room Bible study in 1 Corinthians 12 exposed something I'd been avoiding: our family doesn't need anyone, and I built it that way on purpose. Paul's body analogy isn't a nice illustration. I think it's a direct challenge to the kind of household independence I've been proud of.

I talk about what actually scares me about interdependence and why Acts 2 paints a picture of community that feels both compelling and risky, and why I'd rather wrestle with this in public than figure it out alone.

Read the full post and comment here: https://read.timschmoyer.com/p/self-sufficiency-is-just-isolation

Get the free guide, "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework: A Step-by-Step Guide for Godly Leadership," by subscribing to my Substack posts. Totally free. I have nothing to sell you.

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Your wife sees what you don't. She watches how you handle stress, how you show up (or don't) for your kids, and the tone you use when you think no one's listening. She has a front row seat to the man you actually are, not just the man you're trying to become.

In this episode, we unpack three questions I'm starting to ask Dana on our Monday night dates:

1. What do you need from me? (The leadership gap)
2. Where have you seen me grow? (The formation check)
3. What's the one thing I should focus on next? (The mission)

These aren't easy conversations. But if I'm serious about 1 Timothy 3, that managing our household well is the proving ground for greater responsibility, then my wife is the most qualified person to help me see where I'm growing and where I'm still falling short.

Paul says an elder must manage his own household well before he can care for God's church. That means we don't get to skip past marriage to the "important work." Marriage IS the work. Every hard conversation is training for something bigger.

Read the full post and comment here: https://read.timschmoyer.com/p/your-wife-already-knows

CHAPTERS

00:00 - Introduction

00:33 - Why date nights matter

01:30 - "What do you need from me?" — origins in business

03:30 - Your wife has a front row seat to who you actually are

05:30 - Question 1: What do you need from me? (The leadership gap)

08:30 - Question 2: Where have you seen me grow? (The formation check)

10:30 - Question 3: What's the one thing I should focus on next? (The mission)

13:00 - Building a track record your wife can witness

15:00 - Faithful with little → ruler over much (Luke 19, crowns)

17:00 - Adam's passivity vs. what God wants from men

20:00 - Good work brings good reward — closing thoughts

Get the free guide, "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework: A Step-by-Step Guide for Godly Leadership," by subscribing to my Substack posts. Totally free. I have nothing to sell you.

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Most men make decisions by asking, "What's the smartest choice?" But what if your decisions aren't just problems to solve, they're training for something you haven't been shown yet?

In this episode, I walk through three real decisions I'm facing right now — an investment property, relationship priorities for a family of nine, and whether to compete in a BJJ tournament against my doctor's advice — and why I stopped treating them as problems and started treating them as formation.

I break down the difference between how most men approach decisions and how an aspiring elder thinks about them, and I introduce a framework I've been developing that changes not just what you decide, but what your decisions are actually for.

If you want the full six-question framework, subscribe to Elder My City at read.timschmoyer.com and you'll get "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework" guide in your welcome email.

✉️ Subscribe to get my free guide, "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework: A Step-By-Step Guide for Godly Leadership."

📝 Read ⁠⁠the full post for this episode⁠⁠ and leave a comment on my Substack.

🎙️ Leave ⁠⁠a voicemail for a future episode⁠⁠.

CHAPTERS

00:00 - Welcome & The Challenge of Decision Making

01:00 - Example 1: Investment Property Decision

03:25 - Example 2: Family Time & Relationships

04:53 - Example 3: BJJ Tournament vs Doctor's Advice

05:30 - How Most Men Make Decisions

06:36 - A Different Operating System for God-Fearing Men

08:49 - The Elder's Questions vs Common Questions

12:16 - Decisions as Training for Kingdom Responsibility

15:19 - Applying the Framework to Real Decisions

17:33 - The Elder's Decision Making Framework (Free Guide)

19:40 - Being More Than a "Good Dad"

21:15 - Closing & Call to Action

Get the free guide, "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework: A Step-by-Step Guide for Godly Leadership," by subscribing to my Substack posts. Totally free. I have nothing to sell you.

Questions? Thoughts? Comments? Leave me a voicemail message to use in a future podcast episode.

Let's Connect:

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