In modern culture, we treat loss like a problem to be solved, something we're told to hurry through so we can "move on." But what if this mindset, which I trace back to the Enlightenment's focus on individual happiness, is actually making our society impoverished?

I sat down with the brilliant philosopher Mikolaj Slawkowski-Rode (University of Oxford) to challenge the prevailing Freudian and secular views on grief. Mikolaj argues that mourning is a virtue we need to recover, and a portal not just into memory, but into transcendence.

This is a must-watch conversation for anyone seeking deeper meaning, struggling with loss, or questioning the self-help culture's quick-fix approach to suffering.

What We Covered:

0:01:14 Is Mourning a Problem to Solve or a Virtue?

0:05:34 The Relevance of Philosophy (And Why I'm Interested in It!)

0:21:39 Why Freud Got Grief Fundamentally Wrong

0:38:10 The Enlightenment Shift: Why Individual Happiness Is an Insufficient Goal

0:42:25 The Danger of "Toxic Relationship" Talk: How Utilitarianism Ruins Love

0:55:48 Mourning as a Moral Practice: Rituals that Keep the Dead Present

01:01:15 Kierkegaard's Test of Love: Expressing True Love After Loss

01:23:25 The Two Extremes of Death: The Macabre vs. The Overly Joyful

01:26:45 Why God Wants Our Outrage: The Appropriate Response to Loss

01:34:20 Grief, Transcendence, and Spiritual Perception

Mikolaj's Insight That Hit Me Hardest:

"Your mourning is not about you, it's about the person you've lost."

Connect with Us:

Mikolaj Slawkowski-Rode: https://www.bfriars.ox.ac.uk/people/dr-mikolaj-slawkowski-rode/

Check out his excellent edited book: The Meaning of Mourning: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Mourning-Perspectives-Death-Grief/dp/1666908924

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#grief #mourning #philosophy #death #loss #theology #meaningoflife #griefsupport #Blackfriars #MacauleySchakowsky