We’ve all heard the phrase — but is it actually true?

In this episode, we dig into the psychology behind why “nice” can sometimes be misread in modern dating, and what really creates attraction, momentum, and long-term partnership potential. We explore how effort, authenticity, and emotional intelligence show up differently for men and women, why some people feel out of practice when it comes to connection, and how small behavioral shifts can completely change the dynamic.

We talk about the balance between warmth and edge, the role of surprise and curiosity in keeping chemistry alive, and why showing your full “crayon box” — not just the safest version of yourself — matters more than trying to be perfectly agreeable. There’s also a candid look at communication habits, confidence, and how cultural expectations around dating continue to evolve.

If you’ve ever wondered whether being kind is enough, how to create real spark without losing yourself, or what dating might look like as we move into a new era — this conversation challenges the myth and reframes the question entirely.

Tune in for a nuanced take on attraction, authenticity, and why the rules may be changing.

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