I noticed a series of strange signals before things get really weird - but I reacted calmly: I was prepared, this time. I'd started speaking with a woman at the hotel gym. I noticed some weird comments. Each, taken individually, didn't mean much, but together should have alerted me.

I was going to have dinner and she tagged along. During the dinner, she attempted to switch on Drama Mode and play victim. But instead of apologise or reassure her, I debunked her claims, calmly.

Here are the signals I picked up on, and some thoughts around such (bizarre) interactions.

Some might remind you of situations you've been in. Maybe you can imagine if you would have reacted like me, or differently, and you'll see different options.

I hope you find this helpful (and possibly entertaining).

A friend was upset: he's fallen out with an ex colleague, whom I happen to know. He was worried because of a former "colleague" who was smearing him. I happen to know the guy, and found him weird.

In this episode I share part of our conversation. This is relevant for anyone having to deal with a smear campaign.

Narcissists HATE people talking. Why? Because they can't control what is said. They don't know what is said. That creates uncertainty and reduces their power.

And yes, they will happily talk behind others' backs. Create falsehoods, narratives. But when people speak, they will realise conflicting narratives and might get suspicious.

Look for a few things:

1. who wants to be the central node of communication in a group

2. who gets upset when people speak

3. who speaks behind other's backs

If someone gossips, they'll gossip about you too.

If they betray your secrets once, they'll do it again.

As long as people don't talk to each other, they probably will be unaware of this.