Dear Jordan…Motherhood Is a Relationship, Not a Role
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Dear Jordan…Motherhood Is a Relationship, Not a Role
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This letter began with a long week, a snowstorm, a broken wrist that never quite lets me forget it exists, and a moment in a restaurant that forced me to pause and look at myself through my children’s eyes.
What followed wasn’t really about the restaurant at all.
It was about the quiet belief many of us inherit—that being a good mother means becoming smaller, quieter, more exhausted, and less ourselves. That love looks like endurance. That responsibility requires erasure.
In this episode, I write to my daughter about the lie I had to unlearn: that motherhood is a template to follow instead of a relationship to build. I reflect on how emotional unavailability can grow out of survival, how children don’t bond with perfection but with presence, and how becoming a mother didn’t require me to disappear—it required me to come back to myself.
This letter is about choosing growth over endurance, honesty over performance, and relationship over roles. It’s about learning that you cannot raise a child into freedom while living in quiet captivity yourself.
If you’re a parent questioning the model you inherited, or someone who grew up without emotional space and is still naming what was missing, this episode is for you.
