Have you ever received an apology that somehow made you feel worse?

• "I'm sorry you feel that way."
• "I'm sorry if I offended you."
• "Mistakes were made."

These phrases sound like apologies. But they're not. They're deflections — ways of acknowledging that something happened without actually taking responsibility for it.

In this episode, we unpack the non-apology apology: why Americans apologize without apologizing, what the language patterns reveal about our fear of accountability, and how this ties to everything from corporate PR speak to everyday relationship dynamics. We explore the difference between real apologies and performative ones, the gaslighting effect of non-apologies, and what this reveals about a culture terrified of being wrong.

This is the episode that helps you name something you've felt but maybe couldn't quite articulate — and gives you permission to stop accepting apologies that aren't actually apologies.

This episode just scratches the surface. If you want to truly understand the cultural forces behind non-apologies — with extended analysis, additional examples across professional and personal contexts, class and power dynamics, and reflection prompts for navigating non-apologies in your own life — you need Podcast Pro.

Podcast Pro subscribers get access to Pro Transcripts for every Context Clues episode: deeper dives into the cultural patterns, expanded language breakdowns, cross-cultural comparisons, and teaching resources for educators. It's the difference between hearing the episode once and actually studying how American communication works.

Learn more and subscribe at www.theimmersionstudio.com



Because fluency isn't just about understanding what people say — it's about understanding what they mean, what they're avoiding, and what they're really telling you when they say "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Welcome to the first episode of Context Clues — a podcast about understanding American culture through the language we didn't know we were speaking.

In this episode, we unpack one of the most confusing phrases for English learners: "How are you?" It sounds like a question. Grammatically, it is a question. But culturally? It's just a greeting. And if you're not from here, that distinction can feel completely baffling.

We explore why Americans turned a genuine question about wellbeing into a ritual of surface-level pleasantness, what the "correct" responses are (and why they're all so positive), and what this tiny phrase reveals about American values around efficiency, emotional labor, and the fear of being a burden.