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Season 1 — Pornography in Context

Why do women often feel more shame around porn use than men? Why do men get labeled dysfunctional while women get labeled “betrayed”? And why are both messages rooted in cultural scripts—not science?

In this follow-up episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce and AASECT-certified sex therapist Natasha Helfer dive deeper into Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB)—this time exploring gender differences, research gaps, moral incongruence, and the way religious and conservative cultures shape the meaning we attach to porn.

This is an unfiltered conversation about double standards, sexual shame, erotic autonomy, and how patriarchal conditioning harms everyone—especially women trying to claim their pleasure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why OCSB is a rare condition—and why most distress around porn has nothing to do with pathology
• How cultural narratives push women to see men’s sexual behavior as betrayal but ignore their own erotic needs
• Why women’s porn use is under-reported—and often shamed into silence
• How gendered scripts shape who’s “allowed” eroticism and who’s punished for it
• Why heterosexual men rarely feel threatened by women’s porn use (and what that reveals)
• How purity culture, modesty teachings, and “good girl” conditioning disconnect women from their erotic selves
• What porn distress actually signals in a relationship—and what it doesn’t
• Why monitoring your partner’s sexual behavior destroys intimacy instead of protecting it
• How couples can move from fear and control to open, grounded, honest sexual communication
• Why the term betrayal trauma is often misapplied—and how that misuse fuels anxiety instead of healing
• How sexual autonomy, fantasy, and self-exploration strengthen intimacy rather than undermine it

Perfect for listeners who:

• Struggle with jealousy, porn anxiety, or feeling “not enough”
• Feel threatened by a partner’s sexuality or fantasies
• Grew up in conservative, modesty-focused, or purity-based cultures
• Want to understand gender differences without stereotypes
• Are deconstructing the porn-addiction lens
• Want healthier conversations about sex, fantasy, and desire

Mallorie and Natasha offer clinical insight, lived experience, and compassionate challenge to help listeners rethink the stories they’ve inherited about gender and sexuality. Their message is clear:

True intimacy can’t flourish where shame, fear, or behavioral policing take the lead.

But when couples create erotic safety, curiosity, and autonomy, pleasure expands—individually and together.

If you’ve ever internalized sexual double standards—or if porn has created conflict in your relationship—this episode will bring clarity, grounding, and real liberation.

Up next: How purity culture still shapes adult sexuality—and how to reclaim your erotic self.

Support the show

Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

Send us a text

Season 1 — Pornography in Context

Why do so many people—especially in Utah and conservative religious cultures—believe they’re “addicted” to pornography? And what if the distress isn’t coming from the behavior itself, but from shame, moral conflict, and fear?

In this essential episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce welcomes Natasha Helfer, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and leading expert in religious trauma and sexual shame, for a deep and clarifying conversation about Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB), compulsive sexual behavior, and the myth of porn “addiction.”

Together, they unpack the cultural, emotional, and relational forces that shape how people interpret their porn use—and why the addiction label often causes more harm than healing.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why porn addiction is not an official diagnosis—and what the science actually says
• The difference between OCSB, compulsive behavior, and moral distress
• How religious messaging, purity culture, and fear-based education distort sexuality
• Why many people believe they’re “addicted” even with minimal or healthy porn use
• How shame amplifies compulsive patterns more than the content itself
• Why couples get stuck in painful cycles around porn, secrecy, and resentment
• The role cultural narratives play in shaping sexual expectations and conflict
• What truly constitutes a problematic relationship with porn—and what doesn’t
• How to talk with your partner about porn, boundaries, and desire without spiraling
• Why ownership models of sexuality (“your sexuality belongs to me”) harm both partners
• How couples can rebuild trust, reduce fear, and negotiate sexual values together

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel distressed about their own or their partner’s porn use
• Grew up in conservative, high-shame, or religious environments
• Have been told porn is addictive, dangerous, or morally destructive
• Want evidence-based, sex-positive guidance instead of fear-based messaging
• Struggle with desire differences, mismatched libidos, or sexual pressure
• Want healthier conversations about porn, boundaries, and autonomy

Natasha and Mallorie offer depth, compassion, humor, and decades of expertise to help listeners rethink pornography—not through panic or shame, but through a lens of context, curiosity, and relational honesty.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your distress around porn is actually about porn—or something deeper—this episode will bring clarity, grounding, and relief.

Up next: Part 2 — How couples can repair betrayal, rebuild sexual confidence, and rewrite their stories around desire and porn.

Support the show

Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

Send us a text

Season 1 — Pornography in Context

Why are some people drawn to intense fantasies, extreme porn, or BDSM — especially after trauma? And how do we know when these desires are healing, harmful, or simply misunderstood?

In this deeply insightful episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce sits down with Dr. Holly Richmond, one of the nation’s leading experts in sexual trauma, somatic psychology, and erotic recovery. Together, they unpack how unresolved trauma can shape our sexual desires, fantasies, and porn use — and why the meaning beneath the fantasy matters far more than the content itself.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What trauma mastery is, and why people may unconsciously revisit themes from past trauma in porn or fantasy
• How repetition compulsion and nervous system responses explain patterns that feel confusing or shameful
• Why intense or taboo porn doesn’t necessarily signal pathology — it often signals a deeper emotional need
• How compulsive porn use differs from intentional erotic exploration
• The difference between numbing, self-soothing, and seeking intensity to “feel alive”
• How sexual behavior can regulate the nervous system — both up and down
• Why BDSM can be a profoundly healing space for survivors when practiced with consent, negotiation, and structure
• Understanding consensual non-consent, “forced seduction fantasies,” and why they’re far more common (and normal) than people realize
• How somatic therapy helps survivors reconnect with choice, agency, and eroticism
• Ways therapists can help clients shift from shame to empowerment
• When porn use becomes distressing — and what warning signs actually matter
• How to cultivate erotic flexibility, expand fantasy beyond porn, and rebuild healthy arousal pathways

Perfect for listeners interested in:

• Trauma recovery through a sex-positive lens
• The psychology of porn use and fantasy
• BDSM, kink, and power dynamics
• Nervous system regulation and somatic healing
• Healing sexual shame
• Understanding “taboo” desires without judgment

Dr. Richmond offers grounding, compassionate insights drawn from decades of clinical experience, research, and somatic work. This episode reframes “problematic porn use” and “taboo fantasies” through an entirely new lens — one centered in meaning, nervous system responses, and the human drive for connection, agency, and aliveness.

If you’ve ever wondered why you or someone you love is drawn to certain fantasies — or if you want a shame-free understanding of trauma, desire, and erotic healing — this episode will change the way you think about sexuality.

Up next: Sexual fantasy as a tool for healing — what desire reveals about identity, power, and pleasure.

Support the show

Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co