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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) are back as Resident Comic Theologians for a Short Take on Luke 24 — the Road to Emmaus — and the room immediately clock what makes this story so deliciously strange: the Son of God spending several miles being briefed on his own death and resurrection, presumably holding in the cackle.

Expect:

• Mormon missionaries knocking on the wrong door (it's Jesus's house, and now you're an undocumented squatter)
• "God-splaining" as a legitimate Christological category
• Erick's reverse Masque of the Red Death read on the whole encounter
• A serious detour through what "inspired word of God" actually means for ELCA Lutherans, which somehow involves The Rose by Bette Midler
• Bob's digression transgression, and his failure to apologize for it
• Abby getting into sourdough

Notable tangent: The Blair Witch Project, the Dread Pirate Roberts, and the Waterboy's surprising film legacy.

"I'm not an ICE agent." — Jesus, probably

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Luke 24:13–35 (NRSVue)

[13] Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, [14] and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. [15] While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, [16] but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. [17] And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. [18] Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” [19] He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, [20] and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. [21] But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. [22] Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, [23] and when they did not find his body there they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. [24] Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.” [25] Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! [26] Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his gl

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

What does it take to convince someone they're going to hell? Apparently, a Billy Graham crusade, a youth retreat horror movie featuring a floating bloody head, or possibly just the right Konami code sequence entered on enough church crosses. This week Bob and Eric are joined by cartoonist-comedian Teresa Roberts Logan (@laughingredhead) and returning comic guest Zach Funk (@zachfunkyeah) to dig into John 20:19-31 — the appearance of the risen Jesus to the disciples, and the moment Thomas earns a nickname he'll never shake.

Expect:

• Thomas the Twin — twin of whom, exactly?
• Why you can't call him Diddy
• The Southern Baptist childhood-to-ex-vangelical pipeline, lived in full
• What the Christian comedy circuit looks like from the inside
• The Konami Code as soteriology
• Spiritual colorblindness as a framework for faith
• Bob's favorite original joke (the Pontiff's Pilot)
• Kenneth Copeland, Billy Graham, and the difference between American Jesus and Bible Jesus

Don't miss: Eric's sidebar on what happens when Lutherans over-spiritualize the gospel — with a very specific historical example.

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John 20:19–31 (NRSVue)

[19] When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors were locked where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” [20] After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. [21] Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” [22] When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. [23] If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” [24] But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. [25] So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” [26] A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” [27] Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” [28] Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” [29] Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” [30] Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

On this Short Take episode of Comedians with Pastors Talking Bible, it's Easter Sunday — and the tomb is empty, the guards have fainted, and Jesus is already ahead of you in Galilee.

Also, he's a little extra. He didn't have to show up to meet the women on their way to tell the disciples. Everything that needed to happen had already happened. He just wanted to.

This week we're asking: why is Easter harder to commodify than Christmas? Who sent the women to preach the gospel first — and what does that mean? What is a participation trophy, and did Jesus earn one? And why, if you've never been to a Holy Week service, is this the week to find one?

Also: Charles Dickens ruined Christmas. We have receipts.

Join Pastor Bob Schaefer, Pastor Eric Damon, and resident comic theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) for a Short Take that somehow ends with everyone going "yaaaay."

Matthew 28:1–10 (NRSVue)

[1] After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. [2] And suddenly there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord, descending from heaven, came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. [3] His appearance was like lightning and his clothing white as snow. [4] For fear of him the guards shook and became like dead men. [5] But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. [6] He is not here, for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. [7] Then go quickly and tell his disciples, 'He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.' This is my message for you." [8] So they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy and ran to tell his disciples. [9] Suddenly Jesus met them and said, "Greetings!" And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshiped him. [10] Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers and sisters to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.