What if your life doesn’t “click” at 22- and that’s actually the point?In this episode of Choose the Bear, I’m joined by beloved illustrator, author, and creative mentor Lisa Congdon to talk about reinvention, creativity, and the myth that your best years have an expiration date. We start with a little friendly “beef” over her book A Glorious Freedom: Older Women Living Extraordinary Lives (40 is not “older”!), then go deep on what the book really offers: proof that women can begin again, at 40, 50, 70, and beyond.Lisa shares her path from elementary school teacher and education nonprofit leader to becoming a full-time artist in her late 30s, plus the practical, honest stuff that makes change possible: persistence, transferable skills, learning through failure, and getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings.We also dig into her essential guide Finding Your Artistic Voice, why “practice + failure + practice” is the only real shortcut, how to stop perfectionism from strangling your work, and what it looks like to give fear a bear hug and move forward anyway.And because this is Choose the Bear, we connect it all back to the bigger message: women living whole, joyful lives on their own terms, regardless of relationship status, parenting status, or age.In this episode, we cover:- Why the “figure it out in your 20s” timeline is a lie- Starting a new career later in life (and why it can be an advantage)- The “beginner gap” and why most people quit right before it gets good- Perfectionism vs. becoming an “imperfectionist”- How to work with fear instead of letting it run your life- Finding your voice (in art, writing, activism, life)- Using art as activism + creating change through creativity- Why women in midlife have more power, skill, and wisdomIf you loved this conversation, please like, subscribe, and share, especially with a friend who needs the reminder that it’s not too late.

Comedian, writer, and podcaster Alison Leiby joins Choose the Bear for a wide-ranging, deeply honest conversation about horror movies, feminism, abortion, friendship, and choosing a full life outside of marriage and motherhood.

Alison is best known as the co-host of the hit podcast Ruined, where she bravely (and hilariously) listens as horror movies are explained to her so she never has to watch them. She’s also the creator of the acclaimed off-Broadway solo show Oh God, a Show About Abortion, which explores abortion with humor, honesty, and zero shame, and a writer on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why horror is one of the most feminist film genres• The “final girl,” body horror, and why women understand fear differently• How Ruined became a cultural phenomenon• Abortion stories that don’t center shame or tragedy• Why women are still punished for not wanting kids• The pressure to frame childfree women as “sad” or “incomplete”• Friendship, collaboration, and building community outside the nuclear family• Being bad at something new, and why that’s actually the point• Navigating male-dominated industries as a woman• Why women don’t owe marriage, motherhood, or explanation

This conversation is funny, smart, deeply validating, and full of moments that will make you feel seen- whether you love horror, hate horror, are childfree by choice, undecided, or just tired of women being told there’s only one acceptable way to live.

🎧 Subscribe for more conversations about single life, independence, feminism, and choosing your own path.
Because everything you are is more than enough.

Burlesque icon Dirty Martini joins Choose the Bear for a powerful, hilarious, and deeply inspiring conversation about confidence, creativity, and claiming your body on your own terms. From the Vegas stage with Dita Von Teese to intimate performances around the world, Dirty shares how burlesque became her path to visibility, artistry, and radical self-love.

We talk about:
✨ How Dirty went from being told she’d “never be a dancer” to becoming a global burlesque star
✨ Burlesque as a political act—and why stepping onstage in your body matters
✨ Body pride vs. body positivity
✨ The magic of seeing real, diverse bodies onstage
✨ Advice for beginners who feel scared, uncoordinated, or “not dancer enough”
✨ Why taking a burlesque class can transform how you see yourself
✨ Gen Z, cringe culture, and the courage to try new things
✨ Dirty’s upcoming European tour and her work coaching performers

Whether you love burlesque, are burlesque-curious, or just want to feel more powerful in your body, this conversation is a gift.

🩸 Guest: Dirty Martini
Instagram: @DirtyMartiniNYC

🎙 About Choose the Bear
A podcast for women building joyful, bold, independent lives—single, childfree, and fully themselves. Hosted by activist and author Kat Calvin.

💬 Tell us:
What’s one thing you’d try if you weren’t afraid of being “cringe”?

Burlesque isn’t just feathers and striptease, it’s comedy, politics, gender rebellion, and a century of artists rewriting the rules of who gets to be seen.In this episode, Kat Calvin sits down with Dustin Wax, anthropologist and executive director of the Burlesque Hall of Fame, for a masterclass on the real history of burlesque: from Lydia Thompson and Josephine Baker to Lottie the Body, Coby Yee, Jadin Wong, and Marenka.They dig into how burlesque has always played with gender, race, sexuality, drag, and power, and why this “lowbrow” art form is actually a vital archive of queer and feminist history.In this conversation, we talk about:How Dustin went from teaching gender, race, and class to running the Burlesque Hall of FameWhy burlesque is closer to political comedy and theater than to strip clubsThe deep history of gender-bending, drag, and trans performers in burlesqueLegendary performers you should know: Lydia Thompson, Josephine Baker, Coby Yee, Lottie the Body, Jadin Wong, Marenka, and moreHow burlesque intersected with Motown, Hollywood, and the music industryWild and wonderful artifacts from the museum: Gypsy Rose Lee’s trunk and pin cushion, Dita Von Teese’s martini glass, an 8-foot devil head, and moreThe bizarre and repressive laws and censorship rules that shaped what performers could wear (and take off)How anti-drag laws also threaten burlesque—and why Dustin thinks the future of burlesque is more queer, angry, and defiant than everWhy we need way more movies, books, and TV series about burlesque legendsAbout my guestDustin Wax is an anthropologist and the executive director of the Burlesque Hall of Fame, an organization dedicated to preserving, celebrating, and inspiring the art of burlesque. Through archives, artifacts, exhibits, and community events, the Burlesque Hall of Fame keeps the stories of performers, famous and unsung, alive.👉 Learn more: burlesquehall.com👉 Follow the Burlesque Hall of Fame on Instagram & YouTube (links in show notes)If you liked this episode…You’ll also love my other burlesque conversations with modern legends like Perle Noire and next week's surprise guest, where we talk about healing, body sovereignty, and the power of performance for women and queer communities.About Choose the BearChoose the Bear is a podcast about women who choose their own path—often single, often childfree, always bold. We talk to artists, activists, athletes, scientists, and weirdos (the very best kind) about building a life on your own terms.🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on independence, art, gender, politics, and joy.👍 If this episode taught you something new about burlesque, please like, comment, and share it with a burlesque lover or theater nerd in your life.Hashtags#Burlesque #BurlesqueHistory #BurlesqueHallOfFame #DustinWax #QueerHistory #FeministHistory #Drag #GenderStudies #ChooseTheBear

Burlesque icon Perle Noire joins Choose the Bear for a luminous, soul-level conversation about the power of burlesque as an art form, a healing practice, and a path to personal liberation.

Perle shares her journey from discovering burlesque to becoming one of the most celebrated performers and teachers in the world. We talk about how burlesque can help women reclaim their bodies, pleasure, confidence, and voice, and how this art form can be a powerful tool for emotional healing, creativity, and self-ownership.

If you’ve ever been curious about burlesque, the history behind it, or why it resonates so deeply with women, especially women choosing bold, independent lives, this episode will light you up.

In this episode:
✨ Perle Noire’s extraordinary career in burlesque
✨ How burlesque can be a practice of healing and self-transformation
✨ Reclaiming the body and feminine power
✨ Why burlesque is an art form made for women
✨ The connection between sensuality, confidence, and liberation
✨ The joy and discipline behind burlesque performance
✨ What it means to honor yourself through movement, ritual, and art

ABOUT PERLE NOIRE
Perle Noire is a world-renowned burlesque performer, choreographer, and mentor known for her powerful stage presence, artistic innovation, and deep commitment to healing through movement. She has inspired thousands of women through her workshops, performances, and her signature healing-through-burlesque methodology.

ABOUT CHOOSE THE BEAR
Choose the Bear is a podcast for bold, independent, single or childfree women who are building full, joyful, meaningful lives on their own terms. Hosted by author and activist Kat Calvin.

If you loved this episode, please like, subscribe, and share—it helps the movement grow.

This week, podcast royalty herself, Gillian Pensavalle, joins me for one of the most expansive, hilarious, and honest conversations we’ve ever had on Choose the Bear. We talk about her decade-long run with The Hamilcast, building a true-crime empire with @TrueCrimeObsessedPodcast , why women do all the emotional (and investigative) labor in true crime, and how podcasting becomes a business—not just a hobby.

We also go deep into being joyfully child-free, shedding the guilt women are taught to carry, navigating misogyny in public spaces, and what we both think true crime can teach women about safety, boundaries, autonomy, and choosing yourself.If you’ve ever loved a podcast, questioned a documentary, considered a background check on a first date (please do), or wondered how women keep holding the world together—this episode is for you.

Want to share your story? choosethebearpod@gmail.com

Cosplayer and designer CutiePieSensei ( @TheRealCutiepiesensei ) joins Kat to talk armor builds, creative process, and why cosplay is one of the most empowering spaces for women and Black nerds. Jasmine shares how a campus con sparked a decade of making, how she breaks a costume into parts, and the mindset that keeps her work joyful. She opens up about dealing with racism online, choosing humor and boundaries, and why in-person conventions are still the best place to start.We dig into FiraxWear, her pop culture fashion brand, and how she blends concept art with sewing to create stylish pieces that do not feel like basic merch. Jasmine offers clear advice for first timers, how not to bite off more than you can chew, and why you should try cosplay at least once.In this episode:What cosplay is and why cons feel so goodBreaking down a build from reference to materialsHandling negativity without losing your joyRepresentation and the rise of Black women in cosplayHow Fear Aware began and where it is goingPractical starter tips for newbiesWhy dressing as a hero can change how you see yourselfIf you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe, comment, and share with a friend who needs a little nerdy courage. New episodes weekly on Choose the Bear.

Motorsports broadcaster Amanda Busick joins Kat to talk about how she went from unpaid internships and waiting tables to becoming one of the most recognizable reporters in racing. She shares the Weston Workman first-win moment, why timing and preparation matter, and how trust with drivers turns interviews into real storytelling.We dig into the Women with Drive Summit in Indianapolis, the rise of women across motorsports, and the tension between popularity and craft in modern media. Amanda walks through a full race week, from research calls to garage conversations to post-race hits, and explains why drivers are absolutely athletes. New to racing? She offers a simple starter guide for finding your series and your favorite drivers.In this episode:Breaking into a male dominated field without connectionsBuilding credibility with drivers and crewsWomen with Drive Summit and growing communityPrep routines for NASCAR and NHRA weekendsDrivers as athletes, fitness and recoveryDrive to Survive, F1 buzz, and how it helps the whole sportPractical advice for young women aiming for on air rolesIf you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe, comment, and share with a friend who loves fast cars and great journalism. Follow Amanda @amandabusick on Instagram.New episodes weekly on Choose the Bear.