Episode Summary — “Chasing My Old Self”

In this episode of Still Becoming, Bobby takes listeners inside one of the most vulnerable moments of his marathon training journey—a day that was supposed to confirm progress, but instead forced him to confront doubt, comparison, and identity.

The episode opens with a familiar fear many athletes and high achievers know well: not the fear of slowing down, but the fear that maybe this is all you have left. Bobby recounts heading into a marathon simulation run fully prepared—training, fueling, sleep, mindset all aligned. This wasn’t just another long run. It was meant to be a statement. A chance to prove that all the work was leading him back to the runner he once was.

The early miles felt smooth and controlled. Confidence crept in. But as conditions worsened—light rain, gusting wind—and the miles added up, something didn’t click. When Bobby tried to press into marathon pace, the response never came. Effort increased, but pace didn’t. His body tightened. His stride shortened. And the familiar internal dialogue surfaced: Why can’t you go faster? This used to be easy. What if you’ve lost it?

By mile nineteen, the weight of it all set in. Not anger. Not frustration. Just a deep sense of defeat. Bobby made the decision to shut it down—not with a dramatic finish or heroic push, but quietly. And almost immediately, the inner critic followed: You gave up. You’re not who you used to be. Maybe you’re getting slower.

What made this moment hit hardest wasn’t the workout itself, but what it symbolized. Bobby wasn’t just fighting the weather or the run—he was fighting a past version of himself. A version that existed in a different season of life.

In the reflection that follows, perspective begins to shift. Sitting with the data—twenty miles at a solid average pace in tough conditions—Bobby realizes the comparison isn’t fair. The runner he was in 2021 and 2022 wasn’t building a podcast, raising a family, working full-time, and carrying the weight of more responsibility. Today’s version isn’t weaker—he’s carrying more.

This episode becomes less about chasing an old self and more about honoring who he’s becoming. Strength, Bobby reminds us, doesn’t always show up in splits or results. Sometimes strength is simply continuing to show up when belief feels fragile.

The episode closes with a powerful reminder and listener challenge: progress isn’t always visible. Some days, it feels like defeat—but those are often the days shaping who we’re becoming. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on where they’re comparing themselves to an older version of who they were, and instead ask a different question:

Who am I becoming?

Because becoming isn’t a moment—it’s built mile by mile, day by day.