Children represent innocence, purity, and hope. They're the future, a chance for society to be better than the previous generation. Well, horror is all about corruption of the innocent and bleak, hopeless futures, so its no surprise that children and horror movies don't mix too well. Or maybe, they mix too well. Movies like Insidious and The Babysitter show us the horrors of exploiting children for personal gain. The Omen and Exorcist franchises made a massive impact on culture by popularizing the "possessed child" trope. Perhaps worst of all, is tragic loss of a child trope, a la Pet Sematery and Hereditary. Then comes this week's movie, whose directors said "hold my beer" and did all three, with a healthy dose of child autocannibalism on top. Following up their smash 2022 break out Talk to Me, this is the Philippou bros. with Bring Her Back!

Good thing we wore our longlegs today, because we've got a lot of ground to cover! Longlegs (2024) takes the FBI serial killer murder mystery vibes of Silence of the Lambs and Se7en, the demonic possession-induced murder vibes of movies like The Devil Inside, the creepy haunted doll vibes of like 1000 movies, and the weird evil numerology/cryptogram vibes of the Number 23 and Zodiac and wraps them into one aesthetically pleasing (and very convoluted) package. But can aesthetic alone carry a horror movie? Come hang with Chaz, David, and Aaron as they argue where on the list this enigma belongs.

Set your alarms for 2:17am, this episode we're talking about Weapons- a movie that somehow manages to pull off a school-shooting allegory in the form of a witch that eats kids, without it being goofy. Well, except where it gets goofy on purpose, but that doesn't count. We especially loved the ending and think it rips. (IYKYK)

Hey wanna watch a movie about the devil being put into a little girl but he was supposed to be put into a boy, so now they have to kill the little girl so they can put him into the right boy, and they do this by making the little girl eat nuts and get decapitated by a telephone pole? Yeah. Me too. Come hang out with Chaz, David, and Aaron as they talk about one of the most divisive horror movies of all time.

Ok, so we know most zombie movies are bad, or at minimum, they're all just kinda the same. Some rag-tag group of survivors try to make it from point A to point B, forging unlikely partnerships along the way. Oh, and the people are the "real" threat. But this one's different, because its got all that, but on a train. According to IMDB, "Train to Busan (2016)" is the 3rd highest scoring zombie movie of all time, beating out titans of the genre such as "Dawn of the Dead" and "28 Days Later". But is it really that good, or was the world just convinced that zombies were the best thing ever in 2016? Join David, Aaron, and Chaz as they conduct final judgement on this Korean zombie classic!

Steven Spielberg's "Jaws (1975)" is one of the most influential horror movies of all time, having launched the "Shark Horror Subgenre" and a life long shark obsession for millions of movie fans around the world. But.. uh... this ain't that movie. This is Jaws 4- the Revenge! A movie where a (seemingly) psychic shark decides the bloodline from the original Jaws movie must be eliminated, and will stop at nothing to see them fall (even swimming to the Bahamas in 24 hours). With a whopping 2% on the world-famous Tomatometer, the question is, is this the worst horror movie of all time? No. Its probably not even the worst shark-based horror movie of all time... but it's pretty darn close.

Ah, the swingin' sixties in London: The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Woodstock, a serial killer that's also a sex trafficking victim that kills her johns... what if you could go back in time and see it for yourself every time you fell asleep? Thanks to Edgar Wright's "Last Night In Soho", you totally can! "Shaun of the Dead" proves that Wright can hang with the big boys in horror, but can he stick the landing when you take the comedic satire out of the equation? And furthermore, should this have even been a horror movie?

*Heads up: This Episode features discussion of sexual assault*

In this episode the boys discuss the ethics of the R*pe/Revenge Horror Genre and take on the legendary "Last House on the Left" (1972) by Wes Craven, and its ambitious (and dare we say... better?!) remake from 2009. LHOTL is one of the patron saints of the Horror Movie Canon, but... is it actually that good? Let's talk about it!