Reality is a construct, but this cold I’ve had? That was very, very real. I’ve finally emerged from the duvet fortress, armed with some herbal supplements and my trusty Tascam, to go for a bit of a ramble. And by ramble, I mean both the physical act of walking through the mud and the mental act of talking absolute nonsense into a microphone.

I’m currently perched in a tree—don’t ask, it felt right at the time—somewhere about a mile and a half from civilisation. It’s freezing, I’m wearing a shacket (it’s a shirt, it’s a jacket, it’s a revolution), and I’m pondering the big questions. Like, why am I becoming less of a hermit as I get older? Why are there still unexploded bombs from the 40s lurking under Great Yarmouth? And would the Pearly Kings really be that offended if they just used a hot glue gun instead of sewing all those buttons?

It’s a bit of a look at mental health, the peace of the Norfolk/Suffolk wilderness, and the strange things you think about when you see a bloke with a metal detector. Come join me for a freezing cold natter in the woods.

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It’s been snowing in England. You know the drill: the country grinds to a halt, and we all forget how to use our legs. In this episode, I’m nursing my second cold in a month (ridiculous, I know) and pondering the sheer terror of walking on a frozen pavement. Why do we all walk in the same spot until it’s a sheet of glass? I’m 41, I can’t be doing with a broken hip just because I wanted to hear that "crunch" under my boots.

I also dive into the weird world of my subconscious. We’re talking full-on fever dreams involving a heist at Nintendo HQ, security guards dressed as Romans (very Life of Brian), and a dramatic escape through the Mushroom Kingdom's plumbing.

Plus, a cautionary tale about why you shouldn't mess with another man's Lego. It doesn't end well for the Lego, or my membership at the club.

In this episode:

• The Great British Snow-Panic: Why we’re obsessed with the "crunch" and the etiquette of snowball fights with children.
• Fever Dreams & Freud: Do dreams actually mean anything, or is it just my brain misfiring because of a blocked nose?
• The Nintendo Heist: My subconscious attempt to steal 90s retro cartridges from a basement full of green pipes.
• Lego Club Drama: A story of creative integrity and why smashing a rival's build is a one-way ticket to being chased out the door.
• The Cold Cycle: Living through the "two colds in a month" phenomenon.
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Grab a brew (I’m on the herbal tea, trying to survive) and join me for a natter about the absurdity of reality.

Keywords: UK snow, winter weather, retro gaming, Nintendo heist, Lego, dream interpretation, fever dreams, British podcast, casual chat, Carl Versus Reality.

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This week I talk about a tiny moment that dragged me out of a bit of a funk — I got lollipop-ladied for the very first time in my life. At 41. And honestly, it made my entire week.

From there I somehow end up diving into the world of micro-artists, including a guy in Bournemouth who makes sculptures so small he once inhaled one. I reflect on why anyone would choose a job where a single heartbeat can ruin everything, and briefly consider whether the grit in your eye might actually be a masterpiece.

It’s a gentle, slightly baffled wander through my brain — basically, a normal episode of Carl vs Reality.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.