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What if anger wasn’t the problem to solve but a message to translate? We dig into the real mechanics of emotional regulation, from the childhood patterns that prime our reactions to the nervous system tools that bring us back to center. Licensed therapist and host Mary Rothwell welcomes mental health coach Davina Hehn for a candid, story-rich conversation about raising resilient kids while keeping a strong partnership intact.

We start by reframing anger as a secondary emotion—often covering disappointment, fear, or loneliness—and share how suppression masquerades as control. Davina breaks down simple, science-backed tools you can try today: visual cues that interrupt anger loops, humming to activate the vagus nerve, and playful code words that defuse tension without shaming anyone. You’ll hear how to model repair in front of your kids, apologize for behaviors without apologizing for feelings, and turn everyday conflicts into a master class in accountability and calm.

Then we explore Davina’s Parenting vs Partnership lens, a fresh way to understand why many couples clash after kids. Some of us are wired to prioritize the relationship; others feel most alive in hands-on parenting. Naming your default reduces blame and opens space to borrow strengths from the other side. Along the way, we talk resilience over rescue, boundaries that protect rather than control, and how to build a home where rupture is expected and repair is guaranteed.

If you’re ready to replace reactivity with clarity and raise children who trust their own capacity to face hard things, this one’s for you. Listen, share it with a friend, and tell us: are you wired more for parenting or partnership? Subscribe, leave a review, and help more listeners find the show.

You can find Davina at https://www.asteadyspace.com/

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