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All Things Conflict

All Things Conflict

Von: Maria Arpa MBE
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 Who doesn't have conflict in their lives? Whether at work, at home or somewhere out in the world we are all affected by conflict even when it is indirect. The impact of poorly managed conflict can devastate lives. With 30 years’ experience mediating conflict and training peacemakers, Maria has held people’s hearts through everything from workplace hostility, board room battles, belligerent teenagers, separated parents at loggerheads to neighbours at war, street gang rivalries, threats to life and business deals gone wrong. In this podcast Maria lifts the lid on why we fight and how we can resolve conflict and design it out of our lives. Maria’s mission is to reduce unnecessary human suffering through conscious awareness, facilitated dialogue and trauma healing, using her communications tool, the Dialogue Road Map. Beziehungen Elternschaft & Familienleben Management & Leadership Sozialwissenschaften Ökonomie
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  • How to Navigate Toxic Relationships! Understanding Narcissism and Toxic Entanglements

    How to Navigate Toxic Relationships! Understanding Narcissism and Toxic Entanglements
    Apr 28 2026
    In this deeply personal and reflective solo episode of All Things Conflict - Justice Redesigned, Maria dives into one of the most discussed yet misunderstood topics in modern relationships: the narcissistic personality. Moving beyond the viral labels found on social media, Maria explores the underlying trauma and "survival mode" that drives narcissistic behavior and, more importantly, how we co-create these toxic dynamics. Maria shares her own experiences with "mind control" and losing her inner compass, detailing the stages of a dysfunctional relationship—from the high of "love bombing" to the confusion of gaslighting. This episode isn't just a critique of the other person; it is an invitation to look inward, rebuild self-validity, and assemble a "Board of Advisors" to navigate the journey back to love and sanity. Key Takeaways The Labeling Trap: While "narcissist" is often used as shorthand for anyone who disagrees with us, Maria explains that true narcissism often stems from a person being so deeply in survival mode that they literally cannot see anyone else’s needs. Maladaption and Trauma: Behaviours that walk over boundaries are usually the result of early childhood trauma or a lack of love, leading individuals to believe negative attention is better than no attention at all. Stages of Entanglement: - Love Bombing: The initial phase of excessive charm and attention that acts like a grooming process. - The Shift: When adoration turns into criticism, volatile tantrums, and being placed under a microscope. - The Microscope: How we become "addicted" to the dream of what the relationship used to be, trying to change ourselves to win back the initial love. Waking Up to Agency: Once you realize a relationship is toxic, Maria argues that every day you spend without a plan to leave is a day you are "doing it to yourself". The Board of Advisors: Inspired by a project in New York, Maria suggests appointing five people who are not your friends to give you honest, challenging, and objective advice. Reclaiming Validity: Recognizing that your feelings are your own individual response to a stimulus and that nobody can "make" you feel anything unless you give up your power. Timestamps 00:00 – Beyond the Label: What is a narcissist? 03:45 – Survival Mode: Why they can’t see your pain. 07:20 – The Love Bombing Phase: Why we fall for the charm. 12:15 – Red Flags: The subtle moments we ignore. 18:40 – Gaslighting and the "Microscope" of criticism. 25:30 – How to build your personal "Board of Advisors." 31:10 – The journey back to self-validity and love. Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠
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    27 Min.
  • I Lost My Arm Being Chased by Police: How I Turned My Life Around! Chris Baker

    I Lost My Arm Being Chased by Police: How I Turned My Life Around! Chris Baker
    Apr 21 2026
    In this moving and high-impact episode of Justice Redesigned, Maria Arpa sits down with Chris Baker, founder of Aspire to Change. Chris shares a raw account of his journey from a childhood fascinated by his father’s criminal lifestyle to losing his arm in a high-speed police chase. Now a mentor and motivational speaker, Chris discusses how a chance meeting in prison with a Harvard-educated mentor helped him see a version of himself he didn't know existed. This conversation explores the profound impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), the biological "leak" of unhealed trauma, and why mentorship is the key to steering young people away from the labels society places on them. Key Takeaways Normalising the Abnormal: Chris reflects on how witnessing his father’s violence and criminal activity as a child set a foundation where "dog eat dog" behavior became normalized. The "Naughty Kid" Label: A discussion on how schools and society often label young people early, leading them to subconsciously act out those roles until they lose all hope. The Harvard Mentor: The story of how an unlikely friendship in prison—with an influential man serving time for tax offenses—provided Chris with the "dictionary words" and vision to change his life. Understanding ACEs: An exploration of the Adverse Childhood Experiences study, noting that while only 9% of the general community may have high scores, up to 84% of the prison population has experienced significant trauma. The Biology of Trauma: Maria and Chris discuss how trauma isn't just "in the head"—it’s a physical reality that can manifest as inflammation or organ damage if it isn't processed. Nurture Over Labels: Why nurturing a young person’s mindset and emotions can actually "stop the mind" from following a path of violence. Wounded Healers: The surprising discovery that many legal aid lawyers and social workers share the same high trauma scores as those they are trying to help. Chris Baker Links https://aspire2change.org/ https://foreveryoungpeople.com/ https://www.chrisbakerspeaker.com/ https://www.instagram.com/chris__baker__?igsh=cmVucGxhY3MxaWFy&utm_source=qr Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠
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    48 Min.
  • Miscarriage of Justice? Inside the Legal Battle to Overturn Lucy Letby’s Conviction With Lucy Letbys Barrister

    Miscarriage of Justice? Inside the Legal Battle to Overturn Lucy Letby’s Conviction With Lucy Letbys Barrister
    Apr 14 2026
    In this compelling and high-stakes episode of All Things Conflict - Justice Redesigned, Maria Arpa sits down with Mark McDonald, the barrister currently leading the legal team for Lucy Letby. Convicted of the murder and attempted murder of multiple infants at the Countess of Chester Hospital, Letby’s case has become one of the most polarizing and complex in British legal history. Mark McDonald discusses the significant hurdles involved in challenging a life sentence, the role of the Criminal Cases Review Commission (CCRC), and the "new evidence" he believes proves the original trial was fundamentally flawed. This conversation dives deep into the limitations of the Court of Appeal, the danger of statistical bias in the courtroom, and why Mark is convinced that Lucy Letby is a victim of a monumental miscarriage of justice. Key Takeaways The Letby Defense Team: Mark McDonald confirms he is the barrister currently representing Lucy Letby and explains his commitment to the case despite public perception. The "Science" Problem: Mark critiques the medical and scientific evidence used in the original trial, particularly regarding "air embolisms" and the lack of post-mortem evidence for murder. Statistical Probability: A look at why the "Letby Chart"—which showed Letby was on duty for all the deaths—is considered by some experts to be a "statistical fallacy" that failed to account for natural spikes in hospital mortality. The Role of the CCRC: Mark explains the process of applying to the Criminal Cases Review Commission and why this body is often the only hope for prisoners who have exhausted their initial appeals. The Burden of "New" Evidence: Discussion on why the Court of Appeal rejected Letby’s initial appeal and the legal requirement for "fresh evidence" that was not available during the first trial. The Human Cost: Mark reflects on the vitriol directed at defense lawyers in high-profile cases and the importance of ensuring every individual receives a fair trial, regardless of the charges. The Path Ahead: What the next 12 to 24 months look like for the Letby case and the specific areas of medical science Mark's team is now targeting for the CCRC application. Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠
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    47 Min.
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