As adoptive parents, we often try our best to do our research to find a program to adopt through that seems ethical. Sometimes we find out later that the situation our adopted children were in was far more complicated than we initially thought. Marjie Alonso adopted two young boys from Paraguay. The boys were not related, but were four months apart in age. As the boys grew, Marjie found herself seeing behaviors she didn't understand from her adopted boys. Therapists didn't give her the advice that she needed. When she finally took her boys back to Paraguay at their request the interactions she had with their first families caused her to rethink her views on international adoption and how to define a good life. Learn more about her story and her thoughts in this interview.THIS EPISODE CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Parenting is not an easy task. Bryan Post, an adoptee and Therapist, used his own experience as well as research and training to develop a technique that involves what he calls a love-based approach to parenting. This technique considers the attachment children have toward their caregivers, but even more so, centers on the bonding experienced by parents toward the children in their care. Rather than concentrate on changing the behavior of children to conform to adult expectations, Bryan tunes into the stress and trauma parents have experienced that can affect their interactions with their children. Bryan details how stress leads not only to negative behavior in children but also to poor reactions from parents. Love and patience are important keys to connecting and guiding our children. This technique encourages us as parents to breathe and be slow to choose our reaction to our children. Learn more about Bryan’s life and how that has influenced his approach to parenting on this episode.

When Lynelle Long wanted to connect with other international adoptees like herself as an adult, she had a hard time finding them. She decided that there should be a better way for adoptees to connect, so she built it. Now her organization, Inter Country Adoptee Voices, offers a refuge for adoptees all over the world seeking community. Not only does Lynelle seek to connect adoptees so they can support each other, but she also encourages adoptees to educate the rest of us. Lynelle speaks out for adoptee rights and fights for adoptee access to information. She has been influential in encouraging the government of Australia, the country where she currently lives, to reform its role in adoption to include support not only for adoptive parents, but also for adoptees. Learn more about Lynelle’s important work and her ideas about how we can all support adoptees better in this episode.

There is a lot of debate that centers around women who relinquish their children. We talk about who they might be and why they might be making the decisions they are, often without any insight into the reality of their experience. One of the reasons we guess is that there isn't a lot of readily available scientific research to shed light on who these women are beyond anecdotes and assumptions. Gretchen Sisson has done a great deal to close this gap in our knowledge. She is a sociologist who has chosen as her focus of study to look into abortion and adoption-related issues. After hundreds of interviews with women who have chosen to relinquish their children for adoption, she has written a book about her findings. Gretchen is doing her part to introduce us to the lives of these women and help us understand what they are thinking. We can see that these women tell us stories not only about themselves and their families, but also about society and how our systems interact with women in the vulnerable position of an unplanned pregnancy. Get ready to challenge some of your beliefs about adoption in this conversation with Gretchen Sisson.

Jean Widner's adoptee story doesn't start dramatically. She was raised in a stable home with adoptive parents who offered her the basic support that children need to have. As she grew and learned more about her own story and the stories of others in the adoption community, she started to understand how complex adoption can truly be for everyone involved. Eventually, she decided to embark on a project that culminated in her book titled The Adoption Paradox. This episode explores some of the things she researched and discovered in the course of making her book. We talk a bit about adoption history, and Jean speaks to adoptees, first parents, and adoptive parents as well in this episode.

One population of foster children that often doesn't get the right kind of attention is those who age out of foster care. This cliff that youth often fall off of exists due to many factors. Some of the problems are due to the system they are leaving and the resources that are drying up. Some of it is the trauma they have lived through and the instability that has left so many of them lacking basic life skills. Part of the problem is a lack of experienced adults to offer support to fall back on. Maurita McCorkle has seen so many young adults struggle as they leave foster care that she has taken it on as her mission to try to help. Maurita has written a book about her experience and started a non-profit with the goal of surrounding young adults with everything they need to succeed in adulthood, no matter what they have experienced in life up until that point. Find out more about her story and her dreams for the future in this episode.

Marianne Novy was an adoptee who was encouraged to hide that fact and obliged the people around her by keeping quiet about it until she became a college student. Over time she chose to seek out members of her birth family and develop some relationships with some of them. When she became a college professor, adoption became a part of her teaching life, and she also wrote on the topic. Her most recent book compared themes and insights from reading 45 different adoption memoirs. Learn more about this project and how doing this reading and research influenced her ideas about open adoption in this episode of Adoption Uncovered.

Edward Di Gangi didn't feel the pull to search out his first family until later in life. He felt content with the life he was living and it took a series of events to put in his mind the determination to start his search. Once he did start his search he connected with numerous people who were friendly, and generous and helped him along the way. Even though he was too late to meet his first parents in person, he found a wealth of knowledge to tell him what kind of people they were and what they did with their lives. Over time and at the urging of his wife Edward decided to put together a memoir about his search and what he found