In this finale, we’re putting Season 1 on trial. From petty dating moves to wild confessions, “hoe crimes” gone wrong, and misdemeanors that should be legal! We’re breaking down ALL the chaos that got us here. Plus, we name-drop a few celebrities along the way 👀

✨ In This Episode We Unpack:

• The pettiest dating “crimes” we’ve committed

• Accidentally breaking the “hoe code” (double-booking, forgetting names, revenge blocking)

• Our wildest confessions before closing out the season

• Which misdemeanors should actually be legal

• Hoe Court: putting our stories (and yours) on trial with playful sentencing

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever forgotten somebody’s name… at the worst time possible 😵‍💫

🛎️ New episodes every week. Follow for more wild stories, over complicated girl math, and Season 2’s Hoe Bootcamp!

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok:

@hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

Find All of Melody Parker's Links 🙈

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

2:07 – Pettiest dating crime you’ll admit here

2:57 – Have you ever “accidentally” committed a hoe crime?

5:15 – Wildest confession to end Season 1

10:50 – Which misdemeanors should be legal?

13:24 – Which Season 1 stories deserve jail time vs. a fine

15:51 – Funniest lie you told to get out of trouble

21:49 – Wildest DM slide you’ve done that actually worked

25:15 – Ever faked a whole vibe/persona to pull someone?

27:09 – Your hoe felony that still makes you laugh or cringe

29:06 – Hoe Court Game (Guilty, Innocent, or Hung Jury)

Are we actually healing… or just rebranding our toxicity? 🤡 This week we dive into the messy, chaotic, clown-nosed reality of what “healing” actually looks like. Think journaling at noon and texting your ex at 12:05, blocking/unblocking cycles, and all the delusional little milestones that make growth feel ✨spicy✨

In This Episode We Discuss:

• The most delusional “I’m healed” moments

• Whether blocking is growth or just petty rebranding

• Can you date while healing or do you need to be alone?

• Petty “healed” boundaries we’ve set (and broken)

• Why healing isn’t linear… it’s messy, petty, and sometimes drunk

•Game of the Week: Villain or Visionary: Healing Edition

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever celebrated a week of no contact like a national holiday

Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

1:02 – Most delusional “I’m healed” moment

6:01 – Is blocking growth or just toxic rebrand?

9:08 – Blocker or muter?

11:31 – When you learned healing isn’t linear

16:23 – Dumbest thing you justified as “healing”

17:44 – Does healing look different for hoes vs. housewives?

19:22 – Can you heal while dating, or need to be alone?

23:11 – Pettiest “healed” boundary you’ve set

24:54 – Game: Villain or Visionary (Healing Edition)

What happens when your situationship goes Instagram official… without you? 😅 This week, we’re breaking down the modern dating chaos of soft launches, hard launches, and the secret art of posting without posting.

In This Episode We Unpack:

• The most unhinged soft launches we’ve ever done (tattoos, plates, mystery shadows 👀)

• Getting soft launched without consent…🤣 and what we actually did about it

• The eternal debate: is it worse to stay hidden or get launched too early? 🙈

• When posting your relationship becomes PR: and how to tell the difference

• Celebrity soft launches we love, hate, and can’t stop screenshotting 🤥

• The fine line between being “private” and just straight-up secretive

•Game of the Week: Soft or Sus? 😇

💌 This one’s for you if you’ve ever hard-launched the wrong man, or kept a situationship SO secret you almost forgot you were in it 😚

New episodes every week! Follow for more millennial girl talk that doubles as free therapy (and free chaos) 💖

📲 Follow us on IG / X / TikTok: @hoeandahousewife

📺 Watch us on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@ahoeandahousewife?si=zaym_CB6PYqGm_zd

🙈 Find All of Melody Parker’s Links

https://linktr.ee/melodyparker69

Timestamps:

0:57 – Most embarrassing soft launch we’ve ever done

6:11 – Being soft launched without consent

9:09 – What’s worse: never being posted or being posted too early?

11:28 – Would you date someone who refuses to post you?

11:44 – When does posting become PR instead of love?

13:32 – Celebs who nailed the launch game (and who flopped)

16:04 – Hidden vs soft launched: what’s the difference?

17:26 – Is soft launching manipulative or just modern privacy?

19:53 – Game: Soft or Sus?