for years i felt misunderstood and constantly seeking someone who could reflect back who i was because i couldn't see it myself.

i looked for completion in romantic partners, then friends, asking them to make me feel whole. but the real issue wasn't that they didn't understand me. it was that i didn't understand myself.

this musing is about the difference between understanding and acceptance, what we actually need from relationships, and how learning to see myself whole changed everything.

maybe you're seeking completion in your relationships, too.

maybe you're asking others to see you before you've learned to see yourself.

maybe you're confusing understanding with acceptance and wondering why you still feel unseen.

then this episode is for you ❤︎⁠

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work with me: if you're ready to see the patterns you're too close to notice, book a mirror session here

join the community: subscribe on substack for more essays on embodiment, perfectionism, and returning to yourself

i went from scrolling through instagram first thing in the morning to building a rigid multi-step routine—and both were perfectionism, just in different forms. this is a story about worthiness wounds, performing for others vs. performing for yourself, and what it took to finally choose rhythm over rigidity.

maybe your routine feels like it's suffocating you, too.

maybe you're performing for others, or yourself, and don't even realize it.

maybe you're trying to control one thing while ignoring the root.

work with me: if you're ready to see the patterns you're too close to notice, book a mirror session here

join the community: subscribe to a healing dose on substack for more essays on embodiment, perfectionism, and returning to yourself → a healing dose

our rhythms are about returning.

they’re not another thing for us to perform for others.

creating your own rhythm when you strip away the aesthetic of perfection from its view is about finding what works for you, and not what everyone else states worked for them.

it’s about what grounds you.

what stabilizes you.

what brings you back to center.

if you find yourself unable to see the answer because your perfectionism has you stuck in “it has to look a certain way, or it doesn’t count”, this is exactly the work i do in a mirror session.

this is a 60-minute container of being completely seen, where i serve as your sacred mirror, reflecting back the patterns and blocks you’re too close to see yourself and helping you identify the micro-choices that build the bridge between what you know and who you want to be.

book a mirror session here