In this deep and vulnerable episode, Nik opens up about a recent plant medicine ceremony with his family that stirred up unresolved childhood memories, repressed anger, and a long-standing difficulty with trust. Together with Michael, they unpack the emotional weight of the experience, explore the sacred role of anger, and reflect on how early family dynamics and trauma can shape our adult boundaries and inner world.

They also discuss the challenges of integration, how plant medicine can illuminate deeply buried emotions, and the potential of healing through honest reflection, presence, and connection. Whether you’ve had similar experiences or are curious about the emotional depths of plant medicine journeys, this conversation offers raw insight and thoughtful perspectives.

Timestamps

00:00 - Intro

00:41 - Setting the context of the trip

01:36 - Tripping with family: Ceremony on Lionsgate

03:36 - The tarot cards: Shadow and death foreshadow intensity

05:15 - The trip begins: Visuals, nausea, and emotional overwhelm

06:56 - Childhood flashbacks and emotional looping

10:05 - Interpreting laughter as ridicule: Childhood wounds revisited

13:12 - Bottled-up emotions and misread social cues

16:00 - Post-trip confusion and anger

17:35 - The inherited fear of anger and destructive potential

20:00 - Can anger exist without an object? Exploring the nature of hate

22:45 - Anger as protection: Reframing its purpose

24:20 - Boundary issues and difficulty saying “no”

26:10 - Fatherhood, anger, and learning to defend oneself

28:15 - Acting on anger vs. feeling it

30:25 - Emotional projection and integration strategies

31:56 - Using physical expression (like push-ups) to embody boundaries

33:18 - How anger can prepare us for difficult conversations

35:00 - The protective role of anger for self and others

36:24 - Panic, fear, and the instinct to protect one's child

38:44 - Exploring “Urvertrauen” – primal trust in life

40:35 - Lack of trust and the burden of control

43:00 - Spirituality and psychedelics as tools to restore trust

46:00 - Manifestation and the fear of negative outcomes

47:56 - Can we trust ourselves to handle what’s coming?

48:45 - Anger as a sacred signal: What needs to be addressed

50:01 - Final reflections and emotional resolution