S1:E8

8th November 2025 - Happy Birthday to me, turning 50 and counting

They say once you turn 50, you will never live this long again (unless by some miracle you live into the triple digits)

I will never stop learning, it's been a minute!!!, from birth to this point, even though this post was intended to be published on the 8th November 2025, I decided to delay it to test myself, how I feel being older and if turning 50 or being 50 changed my outlook or attitude or even perception of life.

Am I older, obviously it's a YES!!!

Do I feel older? No, what's changed for me?

Everything and nothing, I am still working on myself, to slow down time, to be more patient with my children as they are still little. They are moving from the single digits into the double digits, and my 12 year old is struggling with social acceptance, and where his place might be with me.

The dance we do between parent and friend is very clear.

My life has slowed down, not because I am older or old, rather because living a rushed anxious life does not serve me, I deserve peace, we all do.

What have I learnt? Famous old sayings.... you cannot choose your family, blood is thicker than water, friends come and go....

I have learnt that not everyone who is family can be counted on. Not everyone is open to the love I give. Some people are so unhappy with themselves that no amount of love, kindness or care, you shower them with, they will remain miserable.

Sometimes you find a friend and life-boat partnership in your darkest moments, when you are fighting the storms and your lifeboat is sinking. When you are competing with the thunder to have your voice heard, it's truly like a fart in a thunderstorm.

You can run a marathon and finish it, even when you sit down, crawl and cry. You can love without limitations, and you can be limited to love and energy you give, share or spend.

When you find yourself in chaos with some people, even if it is family, friends or a partner, know when to walk away, set healthy boundaries, minimize your expectations, this will lead to less disappointment.

When a woman (a mother) is supported, emotionally, & spiritually by a man, and he cheers her on, backs her up and assists with teaching discipline and respect in the home, then the household will run smoothly.

She won't need to beg for assistance or a small break or a moment to catch her breath. She won't feel exhausted. She will serve you, and tend to your physical needs.

She will be open to explore and get lost in a world filled with love, intimacy, sex and desire with you.

Spiritually, mentally and emotionally you will grow and explore together. In the middle of a storm, both of you will know how to soldier on, and be warriors together, you will work as a team.

Without support, challenges will mount, and the opportunities to love and connect will be few, or nonexistent. Frustration, condemnation, resentment will become the meal of the day, and we will seek refuge in other distractions, it will present itself in the moment, a cold beer, a glass of wine, a shoulder to lean on, an exciting affair, drugs or alcohol, because all the distractions are easier to deal with and indulge in, rather than face ourselves and the truth.

Learn to be alone, (don't become lonely) it's important, because your alone path is when you break, when you have to emerge, stronger, clearer, with more peace, more knowledge, more power. Only in your darkness will you find a way to get to the light. Be the Lotus flower.

Fail, & fail again keep failing, till you fail less and learn more, everyday is an opportunity to be better than yesterday.

The choice is yours, rather be an outcast and unique, develop a skill, be thankful, continue the work even when no one is seeing it.

Persist even when no one is clapping for you, you clap for you, be your own cheerleader.

I ask you to lead with love and kindness, boundaries and controlled emotions. Keep rising , keep it real, keep it clean.