454: From Ghosted to Empowered: How to Heal When Someone Disappears Titelbild

454: From Ghosted to Empowered: How to Heal When Someone Disappears

454: From Ghosted to Empowered: How to Heal When Someone Disappears

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 Join host Dr. Debi as she sits down with Gretta Perlmutter, a certified PBT® coach who specializes in helping people heal from ghosting. Gretta shares her personal journey from being ghosted multiple times to becoming an expert in understanding this painful form of betrayal and helping others move forward with confidence. Key Topics Covered Gretta's Personal Story Being ghosted multiple times in business, friendships, and dating The shocking experience of being ghosted after a multi-day trip invitation The mental health toll and unhealthy coping mechanisms The journey from self-blame to self-empowerment Turning pain into purpose through coaching and content creation Understanding Ghosting Why People Ghost: Avoidance - Unwilling to experience the emotional labor of difficult conversations Malicious Intent - Using silence to hurt and control others Accidental - Truly unable to reach out (medical emergencies, lost contact info, tech glitches) Warning Signs Someone Might Ghost You: History of ghosting others Regular use of the silent treatment Consistent avoidance of conflict and emotional conversations The "slow ghost" - gradually fading from your life Actions that don't align with their words The Emotional Impact Feelings of unworthiness and invisibility Grief over the loss of the relationship and imagined future Anxiety, sadness, and confusion Physical symptoms like inability to eat or sleep The shock of going from feeling seen and heard to feeling deleted The Healing Journey Key Realizations: Ghosting says nothing about you and everything about the ghost You're not responsible for other people's behaviors Your worth doesn't depend on anyone else's approval or actions Not everyone shows up in the world with the same level of kindness and respect Practical Steps to Heal: Take care of your mind, body, and heart Honor your emotions without judgment Focus on people who are actively choosing you Reach out to understanding friends, family, or specialized coaches Stop analyzing the ghost and focus on your own healing Give yourself what you wanted from them If You Think You're Being Ghosted: Reach out casually 2-3 times maximum Give them the benefit of the doubt initially Don't keep messaging into an echo chamber End the relationship on your terms with a clear, dignified message Example: "I haven't heard from you in a while, and I'm not sure why. I'm disappointed that you haven't communicated with me. This dynamic isn't working for me, so I'm ending this relationship. Take care of yourself." If the Ghost Returns: Take your time deciding how to proceed Remember: You don't owe them anything People can change, but they often don't If you choose to reconnect, do it slowly after investing in your recovery They need to show they've changed and are trustworthy Build an entirely new relationship with clear boundaries The Power of PBT® Coaching How the five stages of betrayal recovery framework applies to ghosting The importance of not ghosting yourself during the healing process Moving from analyzing the betrayer to focusing on personal healing
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