This book is for anyone diagnosed with breast cancer. I was once where you are. In 2023, I was diagnosed with Stage 1, HER+ breast cancer during a routine mammogram. To fight it, I endured a double mastectomy, chemo, and reconstructive surgery, before going into remission in 2024.

This audiobook is part memoir, part pep talk, and part screaming into the void. I’m going to do my best to get you ready for the fight ahead because, trust me, you will need the training montage of a lifetime. Ready? Then hang on to your boobs (or not); it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

For the gift-giver:
If you’re looking at this audiobook right now, it’s probably because your friend/mom/wife/sister/cousin/neighbor/coworker has breast cancer. You’re shopping for something that will make this all better. Spoiler alert: it won’t be a lavender candle (as nice as those are). What they need is a handle of tequila and a whole lot of profanity. The next best thing might be this audiobook. It doesn't have a shot of tequila, but it does have a lot of profanity.

For the newly diagnosed:
Hey there. I'm sorry to be the one to welcome you to the worst club on earth...with the bravest, best members. This audiobook isn’t going to help make the cancer go away, but I hope it will make you feel less alone. I’m going to try to try to help you keep your sanity, even if you don’t keep your boobs.