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The State of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity
Autor: Esther Perel
Sprecher: Esther Perel
Spieldauer: 11 Std. und 57 Min.
5 out of 5 stars (75 Bewertungen)

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Inhaltsangabe

Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.

An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy.

So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo, universally forbidden yet universally practiced? For the past 10 years, master therapist Esther Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have been shattered by infidelity. In The State of Affairs she asks, why do we cheat? And why do happy people cheat? Why does infidelity hurt so much? And when we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Is an affair always the end of a marriage?

Affairs, she writes, have a lot to teach us about relationships. They provide unusual insight into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Betrayal hurts, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, Perel argues, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.

Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel writes, "Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart."

After listening to Esther read The State of Affairs, continue on as she opens the door to her office and invites you to listen in on actual couple sessions. These are unscripted conversations of real, anonymous couples grappling with infidelity from her Audible Original podcast Where Should We Begin Begin? (courtesy of Audible Originals, LLC). As you enter this raw, intimate space with Esther, we hope you find the vocabulary for the conversations you may wish to have.

©2017 Esther Perel (P)2017 HarperCollins Publishers

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  • Gesamt
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • GP
  • 02.12.2017

Sehr empfehlenswert!

Großartig, sehr empfehlenswert! Bestens investierte Zeit, denn es hilft auch Paaren denen kein Untreue in der Beziehung widerfahren ist sensibel zu werden und auf den Partner einzugehen.

  • Gesamt
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointing endorsement of non-monogamy

I thought the first 75% of the book was a somehow helpful portrayal of layers of emotions, situations and perspective that go around in the knotted relationships leading to infidelity despite the book being predominantly built on narratives and therapy room anecdotes rather that research. Where the author lost me was her fervent and unashamed endorsement of polygamy/ polyamory and her helpless abandonment of and resignation on ideals of monogamy, fidelity, lasting love. It almost felt as if that section of the book was written by or for someone else than the first three parts of the book. Alas the whole experience of reading/listening to it disappoints and leave a sour, disempowering taste.

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  • MOR
  • 09.08.2019

Sehr hilfreich

Mir hat es gut gefallen. Die wahren Beispiele sind sehr hilfreich, um zu verstehen, weshalb Fremdgehen existiert. Für Opfer und Täter ein Muss.

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absolut empfehlenswert

Dieses Hörbuch sollte jeder und jede gehört haben. Super interessant, nicht eine Sekunde langweilig. ich werde es bestimmt wieder hören!