Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated Titelbild

Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

When Parents Make Their Children Partners

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Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

Von: Kenneth Adams
Gesprochen von: Craig Jessen
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Über diesen Titel

When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy - even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries - usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring'. The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction - because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child.

In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close', especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.

©2011 Kenneth M. Adams (P)2013 Audible, Inc.
Beziehungen Elternschaft & Familienleben Koabhängigkeit Missbrauch Persönliche Entwicklung

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This book repetedly sets monogamy as the only standard for a healthy relationship and is extremely rooted in binary gender roles. Other than that, well done. Lots to unpack.

Learned much

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if it were not for the pervasive heteronormativity, the positing of marriage as 'the' relationship model to strive for and maintain, the categorical exclusion and implicit pathologization of non-monogamous relationships, the somewhat stale sexual morality (sex work, masturbation, pornography are problematized one-sidedly), and, sadly, the oversimplistic understanding of covert incest. The latter contributes to an approach of the topic that is little trauma sensitive, forgetting that in two-parent families both parents are always responsible for such entanglements. The child has not only been abandoned by the abusive parent but even so by the by-standing parent. This makes the proposed ‚healing’ of the relationship to latter more complicated than the text makes it appear.
The focus on sex addiction also seems disconcerting. The book falls into problematic clichés too often: the sex addicted man, the reluctant woman with unstable relationships. Overall, not a book I would recommend to people who have survived or continue to experience this form of abuse.

This could be a great resource…

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