Not Gay
Sex Between Straight White Men
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Not Gay
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Gesprochen von:
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Dara Rosenberg
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Von:
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Jane Ward
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A straight white girl can kiss a girl, like it, and still call herself straight - her boyfriend may even encourage her. But can straight white guys experience the same easy sexual fluidity, or would kissing a guy just mean that they are really gay?
Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: There's fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other's penises and stick fingers up their fellow members' anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men. For Jane Ward, these sexual practices reveal a unique social space where straight white men can - and do - have sex with other straight white men; in fact, she argues, to do so reaffirms rather than challenges their gender and racial identity.
Ward illustrates that sex between straight white men allows them to leverage whiteness and masculinity to authenticate their heterosexuality in the context of sex with men. By understanding their same-sex sexual practices as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary, straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways. These sex acts are not slippages into a queer way of being or expressions of a desired but unarticulated gay identity. Instead, Ward argues, they reveal the fluidity and complexity that characterizes all human sexual desire. In the end, Ward's analysis offers a new way to think about heterosexuality - not as the opposite or absence of homosexuality but as its own unique mode of engaging in homosexual sex, a mode characterized by pretense, disidentification, and racial and heterosexual privilege.
Daring, insightful, and brimming with wit, Not Gay is a fascinating new take on the complexities of heterosexuality in the modern era.
©2015 New York University (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
I’ve often wondered why I, a lifelong supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, enjoy calling my friends homosexual slurs and engaging in mocking gay play (much lighter than the examples in the book, see sailors injecting crisco and sewage into each others anuses in Chapter 5 😳). Though calling my friends fags gives me a warm feeling of friendship and belonging, I’ve always had an accompanying guilty feeling about belittling already marginalized people, many of whom are my friends, and with whom I talk differently in different social circumstances. While this book does not condone such hypocritical behavior, it does illustrate how normative it is among straight white males like myself, and how it factors into bonding and belonging. I remember a trans male wrestler on Tosh.0, and his somewhat sexist banter, which as illustrated in the book often accompanies homophobic banter, along with his wrestling with an at first comically naked Daniel Tosh, made me unquestionably categorize him a man, not because I knew that was what he wanted, but because my brain automatically thought of him that way. I categorized him as a man, belong to my gender, because he was engaging in the same hierarchical, heteromasculine banter that I use when I call my friends fags.
Norms. That is perhaps Ward‘s most interesting argument, that heterosexuality is at least partially an alignment with normativity and the social status quo, while homosexuality is a desire to subvert and rebel against the social status quo. "The subversion is where the romance is," she says when discussing her own personal experience. While this does not describe every experience, nor why people who wish they were straight still behave gay and people who wish they were gay still behave straight (I‘ve met both), there definitely some truth to it, especially in a society that is increasingly permissive of sexual and gender freedom.
In short, this book provides a simultaneously funny, methodological, sympathetic and critical analysis of heterosexuality, and extremely understudied subject. Highly recommend!
She’s calling us all fags!
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