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Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

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Marry Him

Von: Lori Gottlieb
Gesprochen von: Brittany Pressley
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Über diesen Titel

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Beziehungen Ehe & Langzeitbeziehungen Liebe, Partnersuche & Attraktivität Persönliche Entwicklung Persönlicher Erfolg

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Kritikerstimmen

"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)

"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)

"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)

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This book is a must for every woman wanting to get content and happy in life! If you listen to the advice bias free, you will understand the message the author wants to convey.

Life changing

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The book has some interesting research, but the main argument isn’t something surprising. It was entertaining and well argued. I feel like it kept on making the same point though: having “superficial/unrealistic standards/expectations”. It didn’t elaborate enough for me on what those values that do matter actually are and how you can define them for you clearly, or how much flexibility can be given there. It also assumed that all women think “better of themselves” - worth marrying a star. But I think it overlooks the other group of women who have a list for the “perfect man” that comes with other items or are in fact more realistic. It also didn’t explore the “why” behind all this deeply. This could have been a much deeper book. The subject is very interesting. The performance really great.

Entertaining but one-sided

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Listening to this book brings back memories of talking with (female) friends as to why they can't find "the right one". Thoroughly enjoyed it and there are some very good tips in the book.
Cudos for the vocal performer.

Very recognizable

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"convenient" research and lettle depth or due diligence for context in interpreting the statistic quoted. purely anecdotal and superficial.

very two dimensional and superficial

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It is remarkable in how many ways you can express the same ideea: don't set your expectations to high. The protagonist tells women it wasn't about settling, but eventually all the advice sums up to that. Also the stories presented are not applicable to other societies. It seems to me like it was centered around US American bias in women about marriage.

Don't settle, but settle

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This book is nicely written. It’s fun to listen to and after listening to a podcast with the author I was very hopeful. However it’s very chatty and as I was looking for useful information I got impatient with it. Although it’s entertaining to listen to it’s also very negative.
Women who have been married and are dating now are not included in this book. After 2 hours of listening I concluded dating over 40 was basically impossible anyway. I’m mid 50. But I’m not giving up on dating - just on the book.

Not for women over 40

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