This audiobook is about codependency--the addiction to other people--and attempting to control addictions, opinions, and behaviors. It covers the concept of addiction to dysfunctional and toxic relationship processes and identifies the main "process-drugs" people use to try to navigate through relationships. It discusses how one loses themselves in an attempt to find love and belonging in dysfunctional ways, and how this does not work for healthy relationships. After thoroughly identifying the disease processes, this audiobook educates and guides the listener to practice daily living in the solution rather than in the problem. It is a complete paradigm shift in thinking and is a life changer. It maps out the Codependent Anonymous (CoDA) 12 steps as a solution to restoring that lost relationship with oneself.

CoDA recovery is the final frontier of recoveries. AA and NA are necessary to get free of the chemicals, but the CoDA steps, worked with a CoDA sponsor, give us emotional sobriety. This level of emotional sobriety includes healthy relationships, healthy boundaries, and the ability to have a trusting, healthy, and supportive friendship with ourselves first, and then--by extension--with others.

The breakthrough information in this book is how our dysfunctional relationship patterns are actually process-drugs that we are addicted to and need to surrender to get a clear perspective of who we are and what we deserve in our relationships. There are two chapters entirely devoted to setting healthy boundaries, which are key to learning how to take care of ourselves in any relationship--even the difficult ones.

I define codependency as “repetitive self-abandonment, and an unconscious emotional addiction to dysfunctional relationship processes as an attempt to attain a sense of power and control in our relationships”. We know it is an addiction, because the CoDA 12-step recovery program is so effective in treating it. Codependency is not a mental disorder. There is recovery from it if one is willing to show up for themselves, attend CoDA meetings, and work the 12 steps with a trusted mentor, guide, or sponsor.