Now That’s What I Call QUITE SHITE: Edith Shyly's Poetry Podcast Titelbild

Now That’s What I Call QUITE SHITE: Edith Shyly's Poetry Podcast

Now That’s What I Call QUITE SHITE: Edith Shyly's Poetry Podcast

Von: Edith Shyly
Jetzt kostenlos hören, ohne Abo

Hello, I'm Edith Shyly, potty-mouthed poet. I'll be making regular dumps of my latest poems here for your consumption.

Edith Shyly
Kunst
  • A Generous Dump
    Jun 10 2026

    Written & performed by me - Edith Shyly.

    My debut dump of six short poems:

    • (0:00) Pearls before swine
    • (0:35) Bum-day
    • (1:11) GIVE ME CHOC!
    • (1:44) Thirst-day
    • (2:23) My furry pussy
    • (3:10) Edith's Jobs: The Public Library
    • (4:02) Outro


    Poem Transcripts:


    Pearls before swine

    I met an old friend over wine

    who is also poetically inclined

    I told her I now have poems online

    yes finally I have moved with the times

    she said putting poems online?

    that's like casting pearls before swine

    I said do you really think they're as good as that?

    she said NO I was talking about mine


    BUM-DAY

    Monday you should be renamed BUM-DAY

    for you chase all the fun and the sun away

    make me hit rock-bottom and feel so moody

    I want to pull a massive MOONY

    at you and me and everybody

    I’ll send it now from the seat of my pants

    they’ll probably see it in the South of France


    GIVE ME CHOC!

    GIVE ME CHOC! GIVE ME CHOC!

    don’t give a toffee or a toss

    if it’s flaked aerated castrated X-RATED

    ‘tis the finest food ‘twas ever created

    box tub boil-in-the-bag or bucket

    whatever it’s in I’ll suck it!

    savour it? share it?

    FUCK-OFF! forget it!

    I’ll masticate it quickly

    not that picky

    egg shaped or turd shaped?

    don’t care I’d still trough it

    no time to grab a plate

    or leave the shop

    it’s in my gob

    it’s GONE!


    THIRST-DAY

    Thursday I am renaming you THIRST-DAY

    for I’m feeling rather thirsty today

    three pots of tea and two pints of juice

    I’m downing more fluids than a hospital sluice

    twelve cups of coffee and six hot chocs please

    I might be requiring one or two wees

    milkshakes cans of pop I happily slurp

    please forgive the occasional BURP!

    Happy hour can’t come too soon

    I aim to drink more than the man in the moon

    to the ladies loo I am now going

    OMG it’s overflowing!

    My furry pussy

    I really love my furry pussy

    she makes my heart go soft and mushy

    yet she’s a pain in the arse and extremely fussy

    lives a pampered life that’s ever so cushy


    she purrs and pretends she only wants to please

    before sinking her claws right into my knees

    she wants me to vacate my seat

    so she can get comfy and fall asleep


    she brings me a gift the liver of a mouse

    the rest is somewhere else in the house

    I don’t know where she makes me guess

    I’ll eventually find the congealed mess

    but her face is so cute she’s hard to berate

    so I feed her titbits straight from my plate


    I really love my furry pussy

    living her fussy life so cushy

    there’s no-one else I would tolerate

    putting their arse so close to my face


    Edith’s Jobs: The Public Library

    Have you ever worked in a public library?

    if you did it would drive you blinkin’ barmy

    you’d get more peace if you joined the army

    serving customers should be so rewarding

    but trust me you’d prefer waterboarding

    I’m looking for a book but its name I can’t recall

    it’s about a girl with a pen pal in darkest Nepal

    on the front there’s a picture of a bat and two balls

    Ok madam well you’d better sit down

    it might take the rest of my life to track it down

    and to be honest I’ve got better things to do

    there’s my coffee to drink then I’m off for a POO

    Mehr anzeigen Weniger anzeigen
    4 Min.
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_t1
Noch keine Rezensionen vorhanden