This episode is dedicated to the memory of Donovan Vicha.

What happens when a man who spent 45 years carrying the pain of his father's rejection finally shatters the past to discover he is the "possibility of love, joy, and wonder"?

In this sixteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Rich Horton for a deeply moving conversation about his 2014 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois. Rich arrived at the rites in his early 70s seeking to navigate a crossroads in his retirement. He shares the profound sense of welcome he felt on the first night—a deep acceptance he hadn't fully experienced since coming out as a gay man in 1989.

Rich reflects on the visceral experience of breaking a mirror to shatter his past, and speaks candidly about healing from the emotional wound of being told his father "didn't want a sissy for his sons". From finding his daily spirit guide in a red cardinal to honoring the memory of a recently passed brother, Rich's story highlights the transformative power of a welcoming, shoulder-to-shoulder male community.

Episode Highlights

• The Welcome of the Drum: Finding immediate acceptance and safety as a gay man entering the rites.
• Shattering the Past: The profound impact of the broken mirror ritual and looking into the eyes of other men.
• Overcoming the "Sissy" Wound: Healing from a father's painful words after 45 years.
• Love, Joy, and Wonder: A moment of meditation in the trees that defined his soul's true nature.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.org
• Practicing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app
• Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESH
• Falling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64P
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVp
• From Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmj
• Brian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.com

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Rich Horton for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams