Feedback is one of the most stress-inducing parts of work — for leaders and for employees. On this episode of the Less Stress, More Joy podcast, Amy Leneker breaks down why feedback so often goes wrong and how to do it in a way that actually builds trust, connection, and performance.

Drawing on her experience as a certified mediator and workplace conflict specialist, Amy explains the three types of feedback every workplace needs, why the feedback sandwich doesn’t work, and how mixing feedback types can overwhelm the nervous system. You’ll also learn simple, practical ways to reduce stress during feedback conversations — whether you’re the one giving feedback or receiving it.

If you want feedback conversations that are clearer, calmer, and more effective, this episode gives you tools you can use immediately.

• Why feedback conversations are often avoided — and why that avoidance increases stress
• The three types of feedback every healthy workplace needs
• How appreciative feedback builds motivation (and when it backfires)
• Why coaching feedback takes time — and why it’s worth the investment
• How evaluative feedback works best when it’s timely and specific
• Why the feedback sandwich has been debunked by research
• How to avoid cognitive overload during feedback conversations
• When and how to pause before moving into problem-solving
• How to build feedback into regular one-on-ones so it becomes part of how you work
• Why the best feedback cultures always go both directions

00:00 Introduction: Why Feedback Increases Stress at Work

00:39 Why Feedback Conversations Go Wrong

02:56 The Three Types of Feedback

03:53 Appreciative Feedback: What It Is — and Why It Matters

04:47 Coaching Feedback: Helping People Get Better

05:45 Evaluative Feedback: Expectations, Gaps, and Performance

06:52 Why “No News Is Good News” Doesn’t Work

09:18 When Appreciative Feedback Backfires

11:10 Common Feedback Mistakes (Including the Feedback Sandwich)

13:30 How to Use Gratitude Without Creating Confusion

15:23 Avoiding Cognitive Overload During Feedback

18:42 Building Feedback Into Regular One-on-Ones

19:46 Final Thoughts: Reducing Stress Through Better Feedback

• Thanks for the Feedback by Sheila Heen and Doug Stone
• Cheers to Monday by Amy Leneker (available March 24)

If this episode was helpful, please follow the podcast, share this episode with a colleague or friend, or leave a quick review — it’s the best way to help others find the Less Stress, More Joy podcast.

Have thoughts or questions? Reach out at amy@amyleneker.com.