This week on Need Not Apply, we flip the script.
We’re usually telling these stories from behind the counter... but this time, we’re stepping into our other role: the customers. Same chaos, same entitlement… just viewed from the opposite side of the register.

We kick things off with Groundhog Day logic, global listeners (shoutout Japan 🇯🇵), dash cam supremacy after Gina’s car takes a direct hit from flying ice, and a brief campaign to abolish Mondays entirely. From there, we wade straight into customer-land where logic goes to die.

🧾 This Week’s Stories (Linked Below)

🍧 A man confidently declares that “vegan means artificial” while interrogating a gelato employee who deserves a raise and a medal
🍽️ A full-grown man throws a holiday tantrum after being asked to move tables — and somehow decides it’s discrimination
🥪 A Walmart sandwich maker completely loses it, hands out BOGO subs like a man possessed, then corners Gina for her number while her boyfriend hides several aisles away
🥐 A hotel clerk attempts to gaslight a couple out of a paid breakfast, turning $10 into a full-blown customer service endurance test

And because that wasn’t enough, we break things up with some truly unhinged news:

This week’s news & distractions include:

🌍 The Wallace Line — the invisible boundary that keeps Asian and Australian wildlife mysteriously separated
🧪 Romans using human feces as medicine (yes, really — and they added herbs to help with the smell)

🎵 Neil Young pulling his music from Amazon and giving his entire catalog to Greenland for free☕ Vietnamese police seizing tons of fake coffee made from soybeans instead of actual coffee
🕷️ Pelican spiders — ancient assassin spiders that hunt other spiders with horrifying patience | IG Reel
🎮 Google’s new AI world generator that has game developers and investors quietly panicking

As always, we spiral, we laugh, we question humanity, and we try to make sense of why being a customer somehow turns people feral.

📩 Have a work story, customer horror, or public meltdown we need to hear?
Send it to neednotapplypod@gmail.com

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▶️ YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast

Don’t forget to punch out — we’ll see you at the water cooler. 💧