In this episode of Thriving Parenting, Jen is joined by Dr Bianca Mastromanno, perinatal clinical psychologist, for a compassionate, grounding conversation that helps new mums feel seen and less alone. Together they unpack what postpartum anxiety can actually look like, why a degree of hyperawareness is expected, and how to tell the difference between normal maternal vigilance and anxiety that needs extra support.

They explore maternal preoccupation (Winnicott’s term for the brain shift that happens in motherhood), explaining why your mind may feel intensely focused on your baby’s safety, needs, and environment, especially in the first 6–12 months. Bianca reframes this hypervigilance as functional, evolutionary, and often temporary, while also acknowledging that for some parents, anxiety can become self-fuelling and get “stuck” in ways that interfere with daily life.

A big focus of the episode is intrusive thoughts: unwanted, automatic thoughts that often involve harm, safety, or worst-case scenarios. Bianca normalises how common they are (often close to universal), why they show up more when you’re sleep deprived, and why having intrusive thoughts does not mean you want them to happen. Jen and Bianca share real examples to reduce the shame and silence so many parents carry.

They also discuss modern triggers, including how social media can intensify fear and expand the “library” your brain pulls from, feeding postpartum hypervigilance. The conversation offers reassurance, practical tools, and clear guidance on when to reach out for support, especially if thoughts become frequent, intense, or start changing your behaviour in avoidant or compulsive ways.

This one is for the parent who’s quietly wondering, Am I okay? You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And help can be gentle, accessible, and deeply supportive.

1. Why the question Is this normal? is almost universal in postpartum
2. What maternal preoccupation is and why hyperawareness is expected
3. How postpartum anxiety can show up as vigilance, scanning, and constant mental checking
4. What intrusive thoughts are, why they happen, and what they do not mean about you
5. The difference between noticing a thought and acting as if it’s a fact
6. How sleep deprivation can worsen intrusive thoughts and nervous system sensitivity
7. The role of social media in amplifying postpartum fear and threat perception
8. Practical ways to “step back” from intrusive thoughts (without battling them)
9. When professional support is recommended, and why it’s safe to seek help
10. Resources like PANDA for support, information, and referral pathways
11. Small nervous system supports postpartum: hydration, nutrition, sunlight, movement, music, micro-moments

Would like to access tailored 1:1 sleep support but don’t know where to start? Jump on a FREE sleep clarity session with Jen here https://sleepthrivegrow.com/

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