In parenting, we want to believe our love is perfect — automatic, limitless, and always putting our child first. But real life has a way of testing that fantasy.

Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David unpack a surprisingly relieving truth: a parent can genuinely love their child… and still have moments where their own needs collide with the child’s needs. Sometimes it’s obvious (work, exhaustion, basic functioning). Sometimes it’s subtler (wanting quiet when your child needs connection, wanting “my plan” when your child needs “me”).

With honesty, humor, and a lot of compassion, we explore:

• Why this tension is normal and why denying it makes us less self-aware
• The difference between a true need vs. laziness/ta’avah
• How “timing” and communication can become a real avodah
• Why kids experience reality differently (and how that changes everything)

This isn’t a guilt shiur. It’s a clarity shiur — the kind that helps you become more present, more balanced, and more loving in the moments that actually matter.

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Chapters
00:00 Opening and Introducing the Shiur Topic
01:05 Natural Parental Love at Birth
04:07 Striving for the Perfect Parent
13:26 Question of Absolute Unconditional Love
18:08 Recognizing Unconscious Preference
21:13 “My Need vs My Child’s Need” Examples
25:44 The “One Candy Left” Test
28:31 Alone Time, Date Night, and the Child’s Experience
33:16 Sleep Training as a Case Study
35:49 The Pillow at 2:00am: Need or Laziness?
37:54 A Parent Has Needs Too
40:12 Needs vs. Laziness/Ta’avah (The Real Birur)
42:52 The Oxygen Mask Analogy
44:40 Timing as a Tool for Discernment
46:25 Communication: Helping Kids Understand Reality
48:05 Love Isn’t Free of Personal Motives
50:58 Generational Shift in Mom Self-Care
52:15 Father’s Old-School Wisdom and Child Fear