In this episode Rabbis Jeffrey, Matt, and Josh reflect together on how grief actually works: unevenly, unpredictably, and often shaped less by moral logic than by story, familiarity, and perceived relationship. Prompted by recent acts of violence and loss, they talk through why certain deaths—especially of public figures who have quietly accompanied us through decades of culture and art—can feel more piercing than other tragedies that are no less horrific. Drawing on Jewish tradition and lived experience, they explore the idea that mourning comes in layers, and that not all losses land on the heart in the same way.

As the conversation unfolds, they turn to harder questions about obligation and identity. Is there a responsibility to feelmore when Jews are targeted, or is mourning primarily a communal and ethical act rather than an emotional one? From there, the discussion broadens to Jewish peoplehood, rising antisemitism, and the exhaustion many rabbis feel when public Jewish life becomes dominated by defense and crisis, often at the expense of Torah, teaching, and spiritual depth. They end by naming the tension between particularism and universalism—not as a problem to solve, but as a defining, often uncomfortable feature of Jewish life, and part of what makes being Jewish so complicated, and so weird.