Your consequences aren't working. Not because you're doing them wrong—but because you can't punish a child into maturity.

In this episode, discover why most behavior problems are actually DEVELOPMENT problems, and what your child actually needs to grow past the lying, the meltdowns, the defiance, and the risky choices.

Spoiler: It's not a bigger consequence.

In this episode, you'll discover:

✨ Why taking things away often makes behavior WORSE, not better

✨ The difference between a child who's defiant and a child who's developmentally stuck

✨ Three questions to ask before you consequence that will change everything

✨ What your lying 7-year-old, your phone-obsessed 13-year-old, and your risky 16-year-old all have in common

✨ How to shift from "What do I DO?" to "What does my child NEED?"

✨ Real scripts for responding to challenging behavior without consequences

✨ Why maturity can't be taught, rewarded, or punished into existence—and what actually works

Connect With Me:

Have questions about this episode? Wondering how to apply this to your specific situation?

Visit innerlifeparenting.com to work with me one-on-one.

And if this episode helped you see your child—and your parenting—differently, please share it with another exhausted parent who needs to hear this message.

What if the challenging behavior you're seeing isn't something to fix, but something to understand?

In this episode, I'm sharing the framework that completely changed how I parent and coach families - and it has nothing to do with new strategies or discipline techniques.

When managing behavior isn't working, it's usually because we're asking the wrong question. Instead of "What do I DO?" we need to ask "What do I SEE?"

I'll walk you through the three essential lenses for seeing your child:

• Attachment - Are they resting in connection or desperately pursuing it?
• Vulnerability - What feelings are too scary to show you?
• Maturation - What capacity just hasn't ripened yet?

Through real coaching stories (including one about sibling meanness that shifted in just two weeks), you'll learn how changing what you see naturally changes how you respond - without trying harder or doing more.

This episode is for you if:

• You feel like you've tried everything and nothing's working
• You're exhausted from managing behavior all day long
• You wonder if something is "wrong" with your child (or you)
• You want to understand what's really driving the challenging behavior

Your child isn't broken. They're not bad. They're just trying to tell you something - and this episode will help you understand what that is.

Key Takeaways:

✨ The secret to parenting isn't in what you DO, it's in how you SEE your child
✨ Misbehavior is often just immature pursuit of connection
✨ Defended hearts can't grow - children need to feel vulnerable feelings
✨ You can't discipline someone into developmental maturity
✨ One shift in seeing can create more change than a hundred strategies

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Gordon Neufeld & the Neufeld Institute
• Kim John Payne & Simplicity Parenting
• PCI Parent Coaching

Connect with Raelee:

• Website: innerlifeparenting.com
• Lead Parent Coach at heypoppins.com

Action Step:

Choose ONE challenging behavior your child is showing right now. Look at it through all three lenses (attachment, vulnerability, maturation) and notice how your response naturally shifts when you see the need underneath the behavior.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another parent who needs to hear that their child isn't broken. We're all in this together.

Rooted in Relationship: When Managing Behavior Isn't Working - helping parents see their children through the lenses of attachment, vulnerability, and maturation.

Welcome to Rooted in Relationship: when managing behavior isn't working
Learn about your host, Raelee Peirce, Certified PCI Parent Coach and why you would want to give this show a listen.