Ein wirklich wichtiges Buch für Männer

Wie ist der neue Mann? Bell Hooks stellt gute Fragen und hat mir in meinem Verständnis sehr geholfen. Wie tief sitzt die patriarchale Denkweise in uns allen? In Männern und Frauen? Wie eng sind die gefühlvollen Erlebnis- und Erfahrungsräume für Jungs und Männer? Das Thema ist sehr tief und dieses Buch ist ein wertvoller, weiser Wegweiser. Danke!

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Everyone ought to read this book.

bell hooks identifies the deep rift in the male person, inflicted and sustained by patriarchal values and behaviors. The rift isn’t simply male emotional repression, but a rift in the soul and spirit of man, making men incapable of living authentic and full lives. Integrity and love is the destination for men and while bell hooks expertly and concisely lays out a path of hope for men, The Will To Change stops short of a deeper questioning into the problem of gendering children - of gender not being binary. Highly recommended insight into the dynamics and trauma of my upbringing as a boy and man.

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Good intent, too extreme

As a man, I was looking for literature on feminism which was accessible to men and informative. The reviews of this book looked like something I can derive value from and learn from. I was utterly disappointment and I was not able to even finish the book. So much for a disclaimer.

While I clearly recognise the good intent of the author and her way to navigate towards men and promoting cooperation between men and women on feminist topics, her starting point is so far far away from what I consider accessible to me and can relate to that I couldn't listen to this without being totally upset. Statements like "all men are killers" and similar are not only untrue, but also totally unhelpful. Especially if your agenda is to get into a cooperative space. Author's descriptions of her childhood also show why her starting point is so extreme: she was clearly coming from a pretty messed up family environment, so no wonder that her over-generalisations of "all men are X" do not resonate with people who do not share that extreme experience. At the same time, while many (if not most) women indeed experience sexism and harassment, most also do not come from such abusive family environments.

So while the intent was laudable, I consider the execution and science of this book as absolutely messed up and inaccessible to men who really care about feminism. You simply cannot elicit cooperation and collaboration if you "charitably" call somebody a killer and accuse of being after a half of humankind. Being a man is not something to be ashamed of. You are born with it exactly as being a woman. So whoever attacks that part of a human being already lost half of the conversation. bell hooks definitely did lose me.

Later I spoke to several female friends about the experience of reading this book and somebody pointed me to books by Nikki van der Gaag, which I found way way more useful and approachable from a male's perspective. So if you feel like this resonates with you, save yourself some emotional turmoil and reach for a more productive literature right away.

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