You should know what cards you have and how to play them...

Sensitive Content Warning: Depression/Suicide

A note from present-day publishing date:

I'm leaving this recording mostly as it happened. Walking Bacon, running errands, getting distracted, dighting with a water hose... that was my day, and these were the thoughts happening throughout it.

Some of them I would explain differently now. I still want you to hear the process.

Clarifications:

• the ankle/wrist weight experiments is something I was trying. I do not recommend wearing them if you are not physically fit and without professional guidance. I was able to benefit it, but I optimize my health and had the foundations to handle it.
• When I talk about identity, the universe, or life as a game, I'm exploring/sharing how I see things. The comparisons aren't scientific demonstrations. There are aso technical details I get wrong or leave unifinished, including parts of the audio-recording explanation. Recording uses analog-to-digital conversion; playback uses digital-to-analog conversion.
• The relationship discussion comes from my own experiences. I value communication, but nobody owes someone repeated chances or has to stay in a relationship to prove they tried.
• The hose rant is frustration. Any return or warranty claim shoudl accurately describe what happened and follow the actual terms.
• Ner the end, I imagine someone listening after I'm gone. I want to be very clear: I want you here, living your life. My beliefs about what comes after death are personal beliefs. Someone dying after a loved one does not establish that they chose or willed their death. Nothing in that passage is encouragement to die, hurt yourself, or refuse needed care. If you're grieving, the part I most want you to hear is that you can miss someone and still have happiness ahead of you.

• 
  

I'm sharing my thoughts from the past, including the ones I was still working through. You can question them or see something I missed.

That's part of the conversation too.

Love you. Be good.

Original Recording Date: 18 May 2022 C.E.