Whether it’s food, beauty products, or the state of our home, describing something as ‘clean’ also implies there is ‘dirty’, an idea that carries a lot of guilt and shame. In this week’s episode, Brooke and Ben dig into a new duality by looking at food, home, green-cleaning and more.

Ben talks about the brosphere — specifically the rise of ‘clean eating’ and its impact on boys and young men — and Brooke talks about her conflicted feelings on individual responsibility versus industry accountability. Ben also shares his honest take on Brooke’s hardcore green-cleaning and no-shampoo hippie eras, as well as the tidiness of their house as a barometer of mental well-being and why the internet will never agree on how often to clean the walls.

They also talk about:

· dropping their standards

· why kids can be a balancing influence on all-or-nothing thinking

· using righteous anger to fuel our enoughness

· making small changes in the face of systemic problems

· quality versus quantity and how a bit of fussiness isn’t a bad thing

· the painful gap between the why and how of things

· knowing when a fight is worthwhile and when it’s not

· the importance of language around food and health and why men and women experience it differently

· what it means to be ‘houseproud’

· QUIZ: how often do you need to clean a ____?

Thanks for listening!

Links:

Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com

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Access the full, human-made transcript here

Credits:

the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production.

Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary

Edited by Ben McAlary

Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio

Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic

In today’s episode, Brooke and Ben dive into different ways of thinking — open and closed, fixed and fluid and whatever exists in between. They discuss their different approaches to rule-following, how they deal with opinion chameleons and why finding common ground is one of the most effective ways to have a constructive conversation.

Ben also explains why he loves playing the devil’s advocate (and why Brooke finds it infuriating!) and finishes with a hard-hitting question: rigid or flexible lollies — which is better?

They discuss:

hypersensitivity

Brooke’s EMDR experience

dealing with narrow-minded people

chameleon opinions and why they’re so confusing

rule-followers vs rebels

improving cognitive flexibility

how to engage different opinions without losing your mind

why hope hurts sometimes

the great lolly debate: rigid vs flexible

Thanks for listening!

Links:

Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com

Credits:

the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production.

Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary

Edited by Ben McAlary

Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio

Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic

In this week's episode, Brooke & Ben explore the duality of selfish & selfless. They get a little word-nerdy as they look at the different definitions and explore the traits of a truly selfish person.

They also explore the relationship between selfishness, selflessness and self-care, why single-mindedness (and by extension, neurodivergence) can read as being self-absorbed, before Ben quizzes Brooke on…shellfish.

They also talk about:

* why children and teenagers are often self-centred

* periods of life when we’re more likely to be selfish

* unaddressed resentment

* why knowing our personal values can help manage the balance

* the line between self-love and self-absorption

* QUIZ: name that shellfish!

Thanks for listening!

Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com