Welcome back to the bunker for another completely unhinged installment of Side Quests, broadcasting directly from the weirdest corners of the simulation here on the Victim Matrix channel. The world is burning, the timeline is broken, and we are back to laugh at the absolute absurdity of the human race.

This week, we have an episode fully packed with absolute insanity. Grab a drink and strap in.

• The Fart That Stopped Spider-Man: We kick things off in Colombia, where a theater screening of Spider-Man had to be fully evacuated after a moviegoer unleashed a biological weapon so toxic it sent fans running for the exits.

• The Human Refrigerator: Summer heat got you down? A Japanese company just launched the "Do Hiemon Box"—a literal upright refrigerator designed to store a living human being like a carton of milk.

• The Duck Bucks Heist: A South Korean bank manager successfully embezzled $45,000 by swapping real vault cash with cartoon play money covered in ducks and bears.

• Trekking Pole Tough Guy: A Montana wound-care nurse gets fully impaled through the chest by his own trekking pole, decides a helicopter rescue is way too expensive, and casually hikes 10 miles down the mountain with the steel shaft still sticking out of his body.

• Faking Death for a DUI: A man in China takes avoiding accountability to the extreme by convincing his entire family to stage his own funeral just to dodge a drunk driving charge.

• Toilet Chug of Thrones: A Russian plumbing company hosts a bizarre Game of Thrones-themed drinking competition where contestants aggressively chug out of toilet bowls.

• Russian Fuel Warlocks: With massive gas shortages hitting Russia, opportunistic sorcerers and mystics are charging desperate drivers for bogus spells to "magically attract" gasoline into their tanks.

• The Great Fish Sauce Crisis: A tiny Canadian town is finally seeing the light after spending 20 years choking on the stench of 330,000 gallons of abandoned, rotting fish sauce.

• Taylor Swift Barefoot Bandit: Camarillo, California's most dedicated Swiftie breaks into an award-winning ice cream shop with no shoes on, just to steal a life-sized cardboard cutout of "Flat Taylor."

• Crossbow Circus Chaos: We break down the terrifying moment a performer at a New York county fair was accidentally shot directly in the neck with a live arrow (and miraculously survived).

• Painless Tattoos: A UK biotech startup, CipherX, is trying to change ink culture forever with a new stick-on, microneedle patch that permanently tattoos you in 15 minutes with virtually zero pain.

• The 639-Year Concert: We look at the Halberstadt organ that is currently playing a single John Cage composition so slowly it won't finish until the year 2640.

• The Greek Bridge of Denial: A concrete bridge in Greece officially snapped in half and collapsed into a V-shape, but the locals simply refuse to care and keep driving over it anyway.

• 9 Days in the Tub: We cover the absolute nightmare survival story of an 82-year-old widow who was trapped in her bathtub for over a week after a bad fall.

• The Toddler Mukbang Scandal: In our darkest story of the week, we discuss the horrific viral controversy of parents heavily criticized for exploiting and overfeeding their 3-year-old daughter to 77 pounds just for internet mukbang views.

The world is a dystopian circus and we are just here to document the ride. Grab your Duck Bucks, check your toilet bowls, and stay weird.

Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and leave a comment telling us your Petty Hill for the week!

We got chased by Foxy the Skin Walker! Thankfully, Raven made Vera into a wedgie board and we got to work! No wait, the Luigi board told us Vera was pergnit. That's when Raven summoned Zozo through the Owija and fought off Foxy. Then Zozo looked over at us like we were the main course. By that time, the Weejah board farted the planchit into Zozos face. It was disgutted and ran away wimpering with the quija stuck between its legs.

Jokes aside, ​in this episode, we peel back the layers of cardboard, plastic, and satanic panic to separate actual history from total pop-culture bullshit. From ancient Chinese divination rituals to two sisters who managed to scam an entire nation by cracking their toe joints, we explore how a harmless parlor game became the most feared board game in your closet. Plus, we talk about the legendary Aleister Crowley’s weirdly high opinion of the board, and why every ghost-hunting forum in 2008 was terrified of a guy named "Zozo."

​It’s a chaotic mix of debunks, deep historical cuts, and ridiculous stories—crammed with real info, but served with zero gravity.

​Key Topics & Highlights

​Fu Ji (扶乩): The Ancient Precursor

Long before Parker Brothers got involved, spirit writing was already a thriving art in ancient China. We break down Fu Ji—a method of automatic writing using wooden sticks, sand, and sieves—and how it laid the groundwork for modern spirit boards.

​The Fox Sisters (a.k.a. The Original Fox Scammers)

How two bored kids in 1848 upstate New York started the entire Spiritualism movement with fake spirit "rappings" (and how cracking joints turned into a lucrative nationwide racket before it all blew up).

​Demystifying the Myths & the Ideomotor Effect

Why does the board actually move? (Spoiler: It’s your own brain betraying you). We break down the psychology of the ideomotor response and tackle the classic "rules" everyone made up on middle school sleepovers.

​Aleister Crowley's Spirit Board Obsession

Why the world's most infamous occultist didn't view spirit boards as cheap parlor tricks—he actually praised them as legit, highly efficient magical tools for communicating with higher entities.

​The Zozo Phenomenon

Where did this famous "Ouija demon" come from, and why did the internet collectively lose its mind over a name that sounds like a cartoon mascot? We trace the roots of the Zozo panic from 2000s forums to modern paranormal lore.

​Takeaway: Whether you think you're opening a gateway to Hell or just tricked by your friend's nervous twitching, the Ouija board is the ultimate mirror of human belief, fear, and gullibility.

Welcome back to a new chaotic, completely unfiltered installment of Side Quests, broadcasting directly from the frontlines of the simulation here on the main Victim Matrix channel. The world is glitching, the heat is melting everyone's remaining brain cells, and we are back in the bunker to laugh at the absolute absurdity of human existence.

This week, we are throwing out the rulebook and diving into a terrifying mix of domestic psychological warfare, cosmic paranoia, and animal kingdom shenanigans. If you thought your week was stressful, wait until you hear what the baseline populace has been up to.

The Bleach Divorce Incident: We kick things off with the ultimate cautionary tale of marital bliss gone toxic. When checking your morning coffee turns into a life-or-death chemistry experiment, you know the romance is officially dead. We break down the terrifying, calculated reality of the spouse who decided a clean load of laundry and a toxic divorce strategy belonged in the exact same cup.

The History of Anime Divorces: It turns out the bleach incident isn’t a standalone anomaly. We dive into the dark, surprisingly vast underworld of "Anime Divorces." From relationships completely dismantled by an unhealthy obsession with virtual waifus and husbandos to couples fracturing over toxic fan-culture arguments, we explore how 2D characters are causing massive 3D legal bills.

The July 4th "Intergalactic War" Theory: Did humanity fend off an alien invasion on Amerikkka's 250th Birthday? The internet seems to think so. We dissect the absolute brain-rot conspiracy theory sweeping social media.

The 84-Year-Old Heartbreak Arsonist: Proof that age is just a number when it comes to unhinged, scorched-earth revenge. We travel to Oakland Park, Florida, where a 42-year relationship ended not with a quiet conversation, but with a plastic bottle of gasolin, a lighter, and a roaring inferno inside a 7-Eleven parking lot.

Tupac vs. The Solid Waste Department: Miami-Dade County has a new public enemy, and his official police alias is "Tupac." We track the bizarre, highly targeted one-man war waged by a local resident against the city’s garbage infrastructure, culminating in the brutal, televised execution of a $4,200 county pole camera.

The Intergalactic Geo Metro: A Missouri state trooper patrolling I-44 pulled over what looked like a genuine UFO weaving through traffic. It turned out to be a heavily modified, chrome-painted 1995 Geo Metro. We discuss the legendary mechanic behind the wheel who was officially warned by law enforcement to keep his "phasers on stun" while traveling to a UFO festival.

The Australian "Space Balls": Sleepy beachgoers in Queensland, Australia, woke up to what they thought was the first wave of an extraterrestrial landing when massive, metallic, basketball-sized spheres washed up on the shore. We look at the actual space agency investigation that proved these alien artifacts were just highly pressurized rocket fuel vessels that survived atmospheric re-entry.

The "Toddler Morgue Miracle": In our darkest segment of the night, we look into the shocking medical and legal fallout surrounding an Arizona toddler who was tragically declared dead after a near-drowning, sent to the hospital's cold storage unit, and discovered hours later by a medical examiner... actively breathing.

The Weaponized Meth-Squirrels: We close things out in the deep South with the terrifying trend of redneck security systems. We visit the legendary legal and wildlife fallout of homeowners who are actively feeding crystal meth to territorial yard rodents to train them as aggressive, hyper-twitchy, drug-fueled attack squirrels.

Strap in, turn the volume up, and leave a comment letting us know what your personal Petty Hill is for the week!