Why do I keep falling for gay men? Why do I treat men like casual fun and women like future wives? And how much of that is actually me... and how much was it just trauma trying to keep me safe?

In this intimacy episode, I unpack the hella invisible rules my brain created around attraction, intimacy, and vulnerability after years of trauma and dissociation. Through parts work and a lot of uncomfortable self-reflection, I started noticing patterns in my sexuality that felt less like preferences and more like survival strategies.

Yall, I'm not trying to figure out what label fits me best. I'm trying to figure out what parts of me are fear, what parts are protection, and what parts are finally ready to heal.


TW: trauma, dissociation, sex. Personal experience only; not medical advice.

On today’s sex episode of The Naked Puppet… we’re getting very personal.

I’m talking masturbation, celibacy, sexual awakening, and a realization that completely unraveled my understanding of my own body. After going on a few dates and almost breaking my celibacy, I discovered something that sent me into one of the biggest trauma epiphanies of my healing journey.

Turns out I had spent 30+ years following a hidden rule my brain made without me even realizing it.

We’re talking about why I only ever masturbated a certain way, why I couldn’t feel anything during intimacy, the shocking realization I had in a gay bar, and what I learned after discovering I had never truly connected with parts of my own body.

This episode gets raw, vulnerable, NSFW, and honestly a little heartbreaking. But if you’ve ever struggled with trauma, shame, dissociation, sexuality, or feeling disconnected from your own body… this conversation might hit a little deeper than you expect.

Curtain up. Let's do this.

Season 2 of The Naked Puppet is here… and everything is changing.
I've been gone for a few months, continuing to heal but also starting a new job... one that’s helping me heal in ways I didn’t expect. What started as a simple brand ambassador role turned into something much deeper: real-life exposure therapy for my brain.

If you’re new here, I’ve spent the last few years navigating dissociation, OSDD, and reconnecting with my body after uncovering repressed childhood trauma. Season 1 of this podcast was all about interviewing my different “parts”… but now, things feel different. I feel different.

Welcome to Season 2 🤍

I got boho braids for the first time and unlocked a whole new personality because of it! But what started as a cute, carefree hairstyle quickly turned into a full-blown hair horror story... one that had me genuinely contemplating shaving my entire head… and unexpectedly unraveling my identity as a mixed girl.

In this episode of The Naked Puppet, we dive into the unique grief of having mixed hair - from childhood teasing and chemical straightening to the lifelong feeling of being “too much” or “not enough.” I bring two of my parts on stage to explain why that appointment triggered a full internal team face-off in my brain: the part that wanted to laugh it off… and the part that wanted to disappear.

This episode is storytime, nervous system realness, and a love letter to the messy, complicated journey of learning to wear your texture, and your identity, without apology.

TW: racism/microaggressions, identity trauma, dissociation/OSDD discussion, emotional distress. Personal experience only; not medical advice.

Years ago I told my Youtube friends how I ended my 8-year long relationship, but it wasn't the entire story. For years, I believed that I was the villian in the story... but that's not quite the truth. Not even close.

In this episode of The Naked Puppet, I sit down with one of my own OSDD parts, Housewife Jacy, to unpack what really happened behind closed doors: the subtle emotional manipulation I never recognized, the open-relationship “solution” that blew everything apart, and how dissociation buried the entire memory so deeply that I forgot the truth for almost a decade.

We talk about obligation sex, covert guilt-tripping, crumbling identities, and the wild moment that finally pushed me out the door. And for the first time, I share how this breakup literally created a new part of me... and why discovering that has changed everything.

Plus: our new intermission segment System Spotlight, where Housewife Jacy talks hobbies, tattoos, musical eras, and all the little things she left behind when the relationship ended.

TW: emotional manipulation, trauma, dissociation, sex, open relationships. Personal experience only; not medical advice.

I just got back from a fun and flirty trip to Germany for Oktoberfest! What started as the most sexually liberating night of my life turned into one of the most confusing spirals I’ve ever had. I felt confident, powerful, and finally safe being seen... until I saw the photos of myself the next morning. Suddenly, my brain flipped the script. The memory changed. The confidence vanished.

In this episode of The Naked Puppet, I unpack what really happened at Oktoberfest: how depersonalization hijacked my joy, how trauma can literally rewrite our memories, and what it takes to hold onto empowerment without shame.

Plus: a fun round of PopLight —Would You Rather face-off for these iconic world events.

TW: trauma, dissociation, sex. Personal experience only; not medical advice.

I’ve never been sexually attracted to… anyone. Physically attracted? Sure. But that innate jump-your-bones impulse based on looks alone? Never. But now as I navigate my healing journey and awaken my lady bits from a lifelong coma, I'm starting to feel... tingles. Could this be my first time feeling truly horny?

In this episode of The Naked Puppet, I rebuild my Hinge and run a full-blown desire experiment: every potential match goes through my various tests to see if my body can register actual sexual desire. But along the way, my parts start screaming, the danger sirens go off, and my nervous system completely crashes. This is the story of how I’m retraining my brain to let attraction exist without inherent fear.

Plus: a chaotic round of Pop Swipe—rapid-fire yes/no on pop culture and lifestyle.

TW: trauma, dissociation, sex. Personal experience only; not medical advice.

I got new boobs! And not through a cosmetic procedure or plastic surgery, but the au natural way - healing my trauma 🤪 I’m sharing how my chest became ground zero for my healing journey, where I would eventually get inches taller, develop a new spectrum of emotions, and finally face my reflection after years of avoiding it. Hips, hormones, period pain, and a newfound libido.. We’re talking all the things my brain blocked from me for the past three decades, and how I’m reclaiming my body one inch at a time.

If episode one was catching you up on my sex life, this one is all the necessary body background - the messy, painful, hilarious, and deeply human process of learning to exist in a body again after repressed trauma.