One of you is carrying this marriage. The other stepped back years ago and doesn't know how to step back in.

You still love each other. Neither of you is the villain. But this is the pattern that ends marriages quietly.

In Part 3 of the Relationship Dances series, Eric and Kate break down the Carrier and Checked-Out dynamic. How it starts. Why it sticks. And what each partner actually has to do to break it.

This isn't a "just communicate better" episode. It's a "here's the work" episode.

In this episode:

• What's really happening underneath a partner who's checked out

• How over-functioning reinforces the exact pattern the Carrier resents

• The difference between healthy turn-taking and full collapse

• Why contempt is the biggest red flag for the Carrier

• The counterintuitive move that actually shifts this dance

• Kate's honest take on her own checked-out seasons

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You're not a bad partner. You're trying hard. And it's still not working.

This episode is probably why.

Kate and Eric break down five losing strategies that quietly drain the life out of even good marriages. Then they share what to do instead.

You'll walk away knowing:

→ Why trying to be right always puts you on opposite sides

→ How controlling shows up in ways you would never expect

→ Why venting feels productive but actually pushes your partner further away

→ The difference between overt withdrawal and the covert kind that is harder to catch

→ How retaliation keeps couples stuck in a cycle neither person wants

Plus the five winning strategies to replace them!

Kate and Eric also get personal and share the patterns they still fall into today.

Pick one losing strategy you recognize in yourself this week. Just one. Then try the winning strategy that replaces it.

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Most people reach out to me not from a place where both partners are equally ready to do the work.

It's usually just one person.

One person lying awake at night. One person replaying fights in their head. One person wondering if they have to wait for their partner to get on board before anything can change.

In this episode, I'm answering the question that sits underneath so much of the pain I see in my coaching practice: can one person actually change a marriage?

The answer is yes. But not the way most people think.

I break down exactly what one person can change, what they can't, and the three specific things you need to stop doing if you want to be the catalyst in your relationship.

I also get into what becomes possible when both people finally decide to show up together. Because that's the part most relationship content never actually gets to.

If you're the one carrying this, this episode is for you.

In this episode:

• Why waiting for your partner to go first is quietly killing your marriage
• The difference between blame and real responsibility
• Why insight alone never changes a pattern
• What it actually looks like when one person shifts the system
• What becomes possible when both people get in the room

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⁠⁠https://www.evolvedmarriage.com/go⁠⁠

BOOK YOUR MAP CALL:

⁠⁠https://form.jotform.com/ericmacdougall85/book-your-free-marriage-action-plan