Have you taken the hippocratic oath? If you haven't then get down to the watering hole quick for this juicy morsel of an episode. In fact, this one's just so good that I had to split it in half. PART 1 of the dengiest, mooiest episode is awaiting your ears on that juicy savannah plain.

Lots of bullies about, but not all of them get that special label of "XL", reserved for only the most vicious of pooches. Banned in the UK, and now on a podcast about curing dog.

How many improvised songs about biting children will get you cancelled? Whatever your number, we've exceeded it.

Made for dogs, by dogs, with dogs.

What is taxidermy? Where is taxidermy? How can I taxidermy my family members? Who is taxidermy? As usual we've covered all the important points!!! Ollie was desperate to cover this vital topic so against our better judgement we went ahead.

Disclaimer: the Cured Meats Podcast and its associated brands does in no way condone or recommend attempting to fill your family with fluff and place them on a mantlepiece.

Recorded at an ungodly hour after celebrating Hugh's birth, we thought this was unreleasable. But here you go, the lucky Episode 13!

WARNING: PROFESSIONAL COMEDIAN

We're thrilled this episode to be joined by the king of one liners Chris Norton Walker, who very kindly joined us before doing some actual comedy gigs!

His first show post graduating was 23rd on the Evening Standards’ article ‘ The 25 reasons to go to the Edinburgh Fringe’. When we do Cured Meats Live at the Fringe we'll make sure to get to 22nd.

But more importantly, he brought a meat. Learn about the Cattle Acts of 1977, hear our live review of the co-op's finest meat delicacy, and Florida man in SPACE!

Apologies for slightly poor sound quality, we only had one mic in our rushed setup.

Have you ever wanted to know how the cold war ended? Have you ever slept in a two-metre long bell pepper? Who is Cruge Plums?? We answer all of these questions and more in this special Cured Meats XL: filled with more Florida Man stories, more callers, and more crap puns than ever before!!

Introducing Cured Meats Offcuts, the bits that were so bad they actually had to be removed from an episode (unbelievable I know). This is a clip from Episode 10, here's some voice changer madness courtesy of our resident lunatic Tom, alongside some real filth from Ellis which all had to be censored.

BWAK! BWAK! BWAK! Who's that I hear a'cluckin'? Why it's the cured meats podcast gang - joined by notorious VEGAN Robin. A first for us, but we strive to pander to all denominations here at the Cured Meats Podcast. So sit back, relax, grab your KFC popcorn chicken and feast your ears on this stupendously silly podcast (good). BWAK!