If a friend called and told you she'd blown it, you'd be gentle with her. Then you do the same thing yourself and think, what is wrong with me? There's one person most of us are never that kind to.

In this episode, Kim and Coach Suzette break down negative self-talk — what it actually is, where the patterns came from, and the nine automatic negative thoughts (Dr. Daniel Amen calls them ANTs) that do most of the damage.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• What counts as negative self-talk — and why it's broader than being hard on yourself

• Where these patterns come from: what you heard, and what you decided about yourself

• Why your thoughts are not always true, even when they feel like facts

• How a single thought changes your body chemistry — heart rate, stress hormones, all of it

• The nine ANTs: All or Nothing, Less Than, Just the Bad, Fortune Telling, Mind Reading, Guilt Beatings, Blaming, If Only, and Labeling

• Why "every should is a little hammer" — and what guilt beatings cost you

• Why accurate thinking works better than positive thinking

• The lens shift: reading your life through your biggest cheerleader instead of your worst day

• Why everyone thinks they either have all nine or none of them

EPISODE CHAPTERS:

00:00 — The one person you're never kind to

01:11 — What counts as negative self-talk

02:00 — Where these patterns come from

03:54 — Your thoughts are not always true

05:22 — Every thought is chemistry

06:36 — Meet the ANTs

08:07 — All or Nothing

09:18 — Less Than: the comparison trap

10:38 — Just the Bad

11:03 — Fortune Telling

12:29 — Mind Reading

13:28 — Guilt Beatings: the shoulds

14:20 — Blaming

15:00 — If Only / I'll Be Happy When

15:30 — Labeling

15:49 — This week's practice

17:01 — Accurate thinking over positive thinking

18:46 — Why we all deny having them

20:14 — The five fear profiles

21:20 — What's coming for Harmonizers

22:22 — Just notice, and keep going

THIS WEEK'S PRACTICE:

Notice which ANTs speak the loudest to you. That's the whole assignment. You don't have to fix them, argue with them, or squash them this week — just meet the ant where it is, notice it, and keep going. Pick three or four that feel most alive in your life and sit with those.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Dr. Daniel Amen's writing on automatic negative thoughts — search "automatic negative thoughts" on the Amen Clinics blog: https://www.amenclinics.com

Fear Profile Quiz (three minutes, free): https://unafraidliving.com/quiz

Coming soon: the Harmonizer mini book, first in the profile series

READY TO GO DEEPER?

The UNAFRAID Course gives you proven, practical brain-based tools to move out of fear and into resilience — one small shift at a time. Enroll: https://unafraidcourse.com Start with the free Fear Profile Quiz: https://unafraidliving.com/quiz

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Website: https://unafraidliving.com

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