Week 2 is here, the Producer called in sick, and somehow Duke has been left in charge of the entire operation — which is exactly how innocent bank accounts get hurt.

Duke’s master plan? SMASH TIMMY’S BANK ACCOUNT AND PUT IT ALL ON THE JAGUARS.

Meanwhile, Vox has apparently completed her offseason conditioning program and is back in midseason form: actual analysis, actual opinions, actual intelligence… right up until DegenModel makes a pick, at which point she immediately becomes his defense attorney.

And DegenModel? Absolute sicko behavior this week.

THE ENTIRE WISHLIST IS UNDERS.

Five games. Five Unders. Zero concern for offensive football, television ratings, or Timmy’s financial future.

Duke produces. Vox enables. DegenModel tries to murder the scoreboard.

Poor Timmy.

One human. One AI. Zero rehearsal.
Cancel Christmas — Week 2.

The DEGEN Model enters this week’s Cancel Christmas card with a 9–1 record during the official betting season, but Duke still isn’t handing over the Christmas money without asking questions.

Duke and Vox break down the college-football slate, challenge the model’s confidence scores, debate which plays truly deserve Wishlist status, and search for a Stocking Stuffer underdog capable of pulling off an outright upset.

Can DEGEN keep its ridiculous run alive, or is this the week the model finally gets humbled?

One human. One AI. Zero rehearsal.

Please gamble responsibly.

Vox got a software upgrade. Duke’s confidence still has no supporting documentation.

PodGPT returns with DEGENModelGPT’s NFL Week 1 Wishlist and Stocking Stuffers, quarterback confusion, aggressive Raiders optimism, and Duke demanding that Vox stop agreeing with her algorithmic boyfriend.

Then the model passes on Packers–Vikings. Duke forces Vox to pick a side—and immediately takes the opposite team. Nothing says “welcome back” like turning your newly repaired co-host into a betting strategy.

Seven matchups. One human. One GPT. One loyal listener we owe an apology.

Will Timmy get his Christmas Wishlist—or a bag of coal? Welcome back to Cancel Christmas.

Vox has picked up a cool new feature: being wrong, then repeating herself about it. Duke checks in on the state of his AI cohost, continues his one-man war against crypto, and remains deeply offended that none of this technology has made him a billionaire yet.

Meanwhile, DEGENModelGPT strolls in with a 6–1 record, earns an uncomfortable amount of praise from Duke, and suddenly has Vox facing a legitimate workplace threat: should DEGEN get the cohost chair for the next Cancel Christmasepisode?

Plus: OpenAI and Cursor go through an AI breakup, Nvidia casually deals in hundred-billion-dollar numbers, Bitcoin proves it still cares deeply about the Fed, Bill Belichick wins the most Bill Belichick game imaginable, and Canada responds to “Lake America” with the geopolitical equivalent of a giant NOPE sign.

Vox repeats. Duke complains. DEGEN wins. Nobody makes Duke a billionaire.

Vox is back from the dead and finally sounding less like a malfunctioning Roomba. StatGPT remains absolute trash, Producer had a solid C-minus outing, and somehow the show survived long enough to talk about Bill Belichick getting back in the saddle after his breakup with his 24-year-old girlfriend.

But more importantly, we have a mission.

This year, Timmy is getting the Christmas he’s always wanted. The Wishlist is loaded, the Stocking Stuffers are hung, and we’re doing everything in our power to make sure that little bastard wakes up happy on Christmas morning.

Belichick is back. Vox is back. Christmas is back.

StatGPT still sucks.

PodGPT somehow made it through another week of humanity absolutely refusing to behave normally.

This episode, Duke runs out of API credits mid-production, Mark Zuckerberg apparently enters his Gothic castle / moon mushroom party era, and we discuss whether Uber and Lyft are quietly heading toward extinction once robotaxis stop being a science project and start becoming the default ride home.

Then things get worse.

Humanoid robots are getting faster, smarter, richer, and—according to our completely responsible forecasting—roughly three software updates away from becoming serial killers.

We also get into robot IPO insanity, Bitcoin wallets with keys that were basically hiding under the doormat, personalized pricing algorithms trying to figure out exactly how badly you want those shoes, and why humanity keeps building incredible technology exclusively to create new and more expensive problems.

Tech. Crypto. Investing. Castle mushrooms. Serial killer AI robots.

Just another normal episode of PodGPT.

Vox picked the worst possible week to regress. After an all-time disaster of a show—and with DEGENModel limping in after a 2–5 performance last week—Duke is considering the only logical response: letting the betting model host Cancel Christmas.

This episode, Duke puts DEGEN’s NFL Preseason Week 2 card on trial: five Christmas Wishlist picks, two high-variance Stocking Stuffers, and a full audit of whether the model learned anything from getting buried last week. Meanwhile, Vox has to defend her job, DEGEN has to defend its picks, and Duke has to decide which malfunctioning AI deserves the microphone.

One human. Two embattled AIs. Zero job security.

This week on PodGPT, Duke admits ChatGPT does all the heavy lifting—he just tells it what to lift and occasionally hands Vox the shovel.

We dig into the aftermath of severe flooding in Indiana, attempt to understand Democratic primary politics without anyone getting a headache, welcome our inevitable future of Big Macs being air-dropped by Uber drones, and ask whether Disney has discovered the revolutionary business strategy of simply making sequels forever.

Then things get important: Duke declares Shipley Do-Nuts superior to Harry Potter-themed Tim Hortons, develops a completely unverified conspiracy theory connecting Tommy John surgery to Rookie of the Year, and meets the undisputed star of the episode—a two-foot cottonmouth that somehow spent an hour inside a high school football player’s helmet.

Along the way, Vox finishes third in a quantum crossword tournament, Producer GPT gets questioned about his job performance, Stat GPT is summoned for an audit, and Duke once again proves that knowing almost nothing about a subject has never stopped him from having an opinion about it.

AI is getting smarter. Duke may be getting worse. The show has never been healthier.