“Being proud is something that I never thought I would feel. And I'm not only proud of myself. I'm proud of everybody else that's on this journey. It takes real guts, strength and persistence.”

It’s Pride Month and this statement from the latest episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ couldn’t be more timely. James Dean (he/him) is a community facilitator, activist and pet sitter and co-leads the Not A Phase Trans+ Connect Later in Life Edition - a peer support group for Trans men & Transmasculine folk. I’ve followed James for a while on Instagram and his content is PURE JOY! This was actually our first chat and I was so excited to get into it…

Little James was a real tomboy and always up to mischief. “If you're clean, I know that you're up to something. But if you're mucky, we know you're doing your normal stuff,” his mother would say. Growing up was a ‘rough ride’ and James was bullied relentlessly leading to mental health issues, depression & self harm at a young age. James recounts a heartbreaking conversation with a teacher whereby he was unable to disclose how he was feeling as a result of Section 28 - the impact of which lives on.

When he first saw an openly Trans person on Loose Women, who James now calls a friend, he suddenly realised ‘that’s me’ and he began to manifest who he was on the inside. He’s careful to say that whilst he doesn’t use the word immediately lightly, he experienced 100% fold changes in his mental health when he started to transition.

We chat through James’ career from being a lifeguard to working in retail & later an inclusion consultant - and he shares a wonderful story about this latter experience. James originally wanted to be a vet so it’s not a surprise that he’s now a fully booked & busy pet-sitter which he loves. He cherishes the acceptance his clients have shown him as they’ve witnessed his transition.

We discuss authenticity, joy, travels with his partner, his recent Trans in the City accolade & more. Lightbulb moments crop up a number of times and each has played a role in the best adventure of his life so far - becoming James. “I want to be here as long as possible now,” says James. And so do we!

Listen in to this gorgeous conversation ASAP.

Please note | Conversations around mental health, depression, self harm & the current landscape for Trans+ people up so please take care of yourself whilst listening

“My education was stolen from me because I was gay.”

That statement is exactly why we’ve always needed Pride Month - since it began through to today.

In this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ I’m over the moon to be joined by Nicola Fenton (she/her). Nicola makes up one half of the wonderful humans of the Older Queer Voices Podcast alongside her wife Raga D’Silva (my first ever podcast guest & dear friend). She’s also a self-described ‘professional event-going queer’ and it’s always a joy to bump into them at various events! Nicola and Raga come as a team in every sense of the word and we chat about the incredible work they’re doing to bring visibility & a platform for LGBTQ+ elders.

Whilst Raga’s story is very much out there, as she does more public speaking, I was really keen to learn about Nicola’s origin story…

Little Nicola was born in Auckland, New Zealand and she was always out & about playing. She despised wearing dresses and after a doctor advised her mother to ‘buy her a pair of shorts’, she suddenly found freedom. It’s a glorious anecdote that has shaped her outlook today.

Nicola was a bright student yet a conversation with her Head Teacher after coming out led to Nicola being kicked out of school. She soon found herself standing outside a book store which led to her finding her people though reading lesbians romance novels and attending protests & marches. She suddenly found a place where she belonged. Community was and has always been fundamental to Nicola and this is evident today.

We talk through Nicola’s career from her first role as postie through to working for a creative agency & the world of events.

Nicola shares how her inclusion mindset began early through learning about Apartheid, indigenous communities & HIV, how experiencing a stroke amongst other health conditions has instilled in her a passion for her health & life and her pride in raising two children to be beautiful human beings.

Have a listen to find out about Older Queer Voices & their work, challenging the young-centric culture in the LGBTQ+ community and why Nicola calls me ‘Glitter Neil’. ENJOY!

“I am in all the circles that make me feel seen and there's nowhere really in my life that I feel like I need to hide anymore. Little me would be so happy.”

I’m kicking off my Pride mini-season of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ chatting to the adorable, hilarious & multi-talented Ki Griffin (he/they). Ki is an actor, comedian, community advocate, educator & facilitator, public speaker & more. They co-facilitate Not-A-Phase’s Trans+ Connect Enby Edition, a peer support group, alongside the equally brilliant Ben Pechey, former ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ guest & Ki’s “work-wife” and Ki has also just joined the team at Voda, everyone’s favourite LGBTQIA+ Mental Health App. It’s a busy time for Ki and even more so as Pride season begins…

Little Ki grew up in London in a loving home and was full of curiosity and describes their younger self as “the sweetest & loveliest” who was simply trying to be the best human they could be. Ki recalls being a happy kid until they started secondary school - an intergenerational experience for many of us in LGBTQ+ community which we discuss.

At 14 years old, Ki began to grapple with being Intersex & their sexuality after being outed which led to struggles with their mental health. Thankfully they share how their family were “the best support network” and they were able to retreat to the safety of their home & the internet.

We chat about Ki’s career journey. They wanted to be a paramedic growing up as they knew they wanted to help people - something still very prominent in the Ki we know & love today. They refer to their journey into inclusion as a ‘stumble’ and similarly, becoming an actor was never planned. Ki shares the story of their audition for Hollyoaks and how they went on to become the first Non-Binary character in a British soap. We also discuss Ki’s foray into comedy - having just performed a cracking set during Trans+ History Week - with them ramping this up. Watch this space!

Confidence & authenticity, blending self expression with professional roles, joy as an act of rebellion and navigating a world on fire are topics that come up and Ki uttered one of my favourite statements ever… “Be a feral little gremlin.” If you say so! Go have a listen…

Please note | Conversations around mental health, depression & anxiety come up so please take care of yourself whilst listening.