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We kick off the episode celebrating National Farmers Day by debating whether baling hay makes farmers actual athletes, before diving into our lingering disgust over lettuce grown with manure "poo water" . We finally swallow our pride to share the embarrassing origin story of our podcast, which all started during the pandemic when Sam gifted Erin one of Mike's Pizza Pocket Hoodies. In gaming news, Erin explains how she's escaping the "dopamine pit" of unfulfilled fitness goals by playing a relaxing Pokémon game (Pokemon Pokopia) and trying out Pathbound, a fantasy walking app that uses real life steps as stamina to smite hollow pixies. We also discuss Steppa, an app where users bet on hitting their 10,000 daily steps for a share of a $170,000 prize pool. On the sports front, we share a quick "Pepto Pugskins" fantasy football update, lamenting how the autodrafting might not be the smartest thing.

In our news roundup, we review the controversial new spectator rules for the upcoming New York City Marathon, which officially ban confetti cannons and unauthorized sponsored cheer stations. We also discuss New York's new high-tech "robot toilets" equipped with a strict 10-minute time limit. Shifting to the extreme, we react to an athlete attempting to kayak 700km down the deadly Congo River basin alongside gorillas and hippos. In the collectibles and marketing world, we applaud the genius "NASCAR Swear Jar" campaign that lets fans guess the cumulative number of driver expletives to win a cash pot, and we marvel at Michael Jordan's $12.2 million game worn jersey being sold by Rob G., the same entrepreneur who recently purchased a Jai Alai league.

We also squeeze in a serious health update, as Erin details her agonizing wait for genetic testing results and surgical consultations for her sentinel lymph nodes following a melanoma diagnosis. To lighten the mood, we explore the fun of magnet fishing in rivers for lost trinkets and marvel at the discovery of an 1884 shipwreck recently uncovered on the shores of Nantucket. We also follow up on the dedicated DoorDash driver who got into a severe car accident; his loyal customers have since raised $15,000 for him. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we highlight the wholesome journey of a Japanese man biking from Chicago to LA who experienced the best of American hospitality when a stranger invited him to stay in his home, and a police officer helped push his heavy bike up a steep bridge.

👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.We kick off celebrating a massive 7,000 Instagram follower milestone and share an intimate 50th wedding anniversary recap before diving into a four-player session of Super Mario Wonder. We discuss upcoming Nintendo releases—including the highly anticipated Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake—and gawk at a Pokémon card that just sold for an eye-popping $1,020,000. Finally, we praise the USA Women's Wheelchair Basketball squad entering LA 2028 as reigning world champions.

Happy World Teacher Day! Erin shares hilarious comments about children unintentionally depict innocent moments—like burping a baby—as domestic violence. We celebrate a massive community milestone of officially crossing 7,000 Instagram followers to save the podcast from cancellation. Erin recaps her parents' 50th wedding anniversary, which traded a massive party for an intimate crab feast in a decorated screenhouse with plenty of champagne, followed by a rainy festival tailgate, multiple sleepovers, and Dan rushing to the shore to save their flooded garage as a rogue motorboat smashed into the bulkhead of the neighborhood mega-house.

Shifting into gaming and collectibles, Mike recaps a four-player session of Super Mario Wonder, while Erin delivers her ultimate marriage advice: playing duos in Fortnite together every night for communication and team building. We discuss upcoming Nintendo releases, including a viral gamer reaction video that convinced Erin to pre-order the Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake, and a new Kirby title that Erin insists was named after her middle name. They also gawk at the booming collectibles market after a 2004 PSA 10 Gold Star Pokémon card sold for an eye-popping $1,020,000—outpricing a Lamborghini. Meanwhile, the Pepto Pugskins celebrate their first fantasy football victory over team "Enhanced Mediocrity," as Mike and Erin break down their latest league discovery—trading players—and joke about their accidental telepathy after showing up to record in matching Reebok gear.

On the sports front, Erin highlights Paralympian Ezra Frech on Dancing with the Stars after an electrifying routine to "Apple Bottom Jeans" on a running blade. We also praise the USA Women’s Wheelchair Basketball squad for entering the LA 2028 Paralympics as reigning world champions, debate why certain wheelchair sports are mixed-gender while basketball remains separate, and recount Mike's humbling realization of how difficult shooting hoops actually is. In the "Is It a Sport?" segment, we examine Carnegie Mellon University's 100-year-old Buggy race tradition, where students squeeze headfirst into tiny composite shells and steer inches from the pavement while pushed by sprinters, alongside a viral video of a rookie firefighter getting body-slammed by an over-pressurized hose. For "Erin's Tea Time," we deconstruct the viral clip of a baseball-game mom baby-wearing while balancing three food trays; while the internet instantly vilified the sitting husband, a follow-up revealed he was grieving, had offered to help, and was thrilled just to be on TV. Finally, "How About We Just Die" features a Long Island woman getting swallowed whole by an unexpected backyard cesspool sinkhole, before "No Bad, No Sad" wraps up on a sweet note with eight-year-old twin girls celebrating their dream birthday party inside a local Ace Hardware with custom aprons, tool buckets, and potted plants.

We kick off on National Ask a Stupid Question Day celebrating Erin’s two-week health streak (hitting 10,000 daily steps, hydration, protein, fiber, and pull-up workouts) before comparing step counts with Mike, who sits at a desk all day. Mike recaps attending a 150 person wedding featuring an all EDM DJ and a 30 minute ceremony, prompting a deep dive into wedding table etiquette and the awkwardness of navigating small talk with a quiet couple on your right while chatting with friends on your left. Erin then shares her dilemma about whether to walk half a mile down her rural road to introduce herself to a new neighbor who owns a pit bull and is rumored to be a retired NFL player, which prompts Mike to share how he met his neighbor after an idling car blocked the street. Mike also vents about an infuriating encounter at work with a persistent software salesman who rang the bell right next to a prominent "No Soliciting" sign and argued outside that he wasn't giving a sales pitch. Erin follows with a rant against unsolicited grocery store parenting advice, blasting strangers who tell stressed mothers of toddlers that "it goes by so fast" for fueling unnecessary mom guilt, before giving an update on the legal review of her book taking out her jokes. After a quick check-in on our quest for 7,000 Instagram followers, we dive into our fantasy football league, the Pepto Pugskins, breaking down how defensive scoring works after our Lions defense cost us negative four net points for allowing too many yards and scores against team "Enhanced Mediocrity".

In sports, we dissect the viral biohazard controversy from a Beijing Hyrox race, where a 24-year-old Australian world record holder won the solo event with severe liquid diarrhea running down her legs across lunges and burpees, initially posted "a win is a win," and later faced intense backlash that prompted a public apology and voluntary withdrawal. Next, we break down the NASCAR brawl at Bristol between Carson Hocevar and Ryan Blaney; after a lap 458 collision ruined Blaney's playoff chances, Blaney confronted Hocevar in the pits, only for the young driver to clock him solidly in the face (claiming it was the first punch he had ever thrown in his life) before posting an unbothered smiling selfie in his car. For "Erin's Tea Time," we expose the shocking front-office scandal within USA Team Handball, where the CEO fired wheelchair handball head coach Dr. Ford Dyke a month before the World Championships—allegedly in retaliation for a whistleblower complaint over financial mismanagement—leading the federation to replace the entire protesting roster with adaptive crossover athletes who had only three weeks to learn the sport. Shifting to the collectibles market, we discuss the chaotic lines, Discord bot networks, and Black Friday-style rushes at Target and GameStop for the 30th-anniversary Pokémon cards, complete with Erin opening a pack live on the mic to inspect her cards' hit points. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we share the heartwarming story of a four-year-old boy in Brooklyn dressed in a Spider-Man costume who walked the streets with his mom, handing out laminated red paper hearts to brighten strangers' days.