Days after her six-year-old son Jesse was killed at Sandy Hook Elementary, Scarlett Lewis found three words he had written on the kitchen chalkboard: nurturing, healing, love. Those words became the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement, a free program for courage, gratitude, forgiveness and compassion in action.

In this episode, Scarlett and Dr. Tara Perry talk about the moment at the firehouse that shaped how she would raise her older son through it, the "brave breath" (in for four, out for six) she teaches kids to stop a reaction before it starts, why forgiveness is not the same as letting someone off the hook, what she saw in a courtroom that changed her, how she forgave herself, and what to say to someone in deep grief.

Content note: this episode discusses the loss of a child to violence. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 in the US, any time.

Connect with Scarlett Lewis and the Choose Love Movement
Choose Love Movement (free program, summit, donate): https://chooselovemovement.org
Scarlett on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/scarlett-lewis-7428a5b7
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chooselovemovement/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JLChooseLove
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/chooselovefoundation
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-jesse-lewis-choose-love-foundation/
X: https://twitter.com/ChooseLoveM

Chapters
0:00 Dr. Tara Perry introduces Scarlett Lewis
0:22 Cold open
0:59 Next Level Healing intro
2:22 The firehouse: the moment she chose
5:49 Refusing a life of rage
9:27 Where Choose Love began
12:27 Choose Love in schools worldwide
14:43 Thank you, brain
15:09 The Choose Love formula
18:20 The Choice Moment and the brave breath
23:49 Simple, not easy
25:29 Your brain wants revenge
27:28 Forgiveness is not condoning
28:39 What she saw in court
32:30 The hardest people to forgive
34:29 What to say to someone in grief
37:34 Forgiving yourself
38:35 Shawn Gallaway's songs
40:41 How service nourished her light
42:22 The chalkboard message
44:49 Where to find Choose Love
47:37 Closing and disclaimer

From Dr. Tara Perry
Free 20-minute guided breath session: https://consulttara.com/meditations/coherent-breathing-5-5
Book a free consultation: https://consulttara.com/book

Next Level Healing is for education and inspiration. It is not medical or mental health advice.

Dr. Michael Burcham, serial entrepreneur, Vanderbilt professor, investor, and founder of the Nashville Entrepreneur Center, joins Dr. Tara Perry to explore what it actually takes to turn potential into reality — and what happens when the pursuit of success collides with life’s most irreversible moments.

Dr. Burcham grew up in rural Mississippi in a Medicaid household, built and sold businesses worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and has spent decades coaching the next generation of entrepreneurs at Vanderbilt. He has also walked some of the hardest roads a person can walk — losing his son Ryan at 25, surviving sepsis after a month in the ICU — and emerged with a radically different understanding of what success is actually for.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

03:38 The ticket price for entrepreneurship is walking through adversity without being rescued from it — and that resilience can be learned, but only by living it.
09:42 Entrepreneurs must be willing to live five to ten years like no one else would in order to have the rest of their life the way they want it.
11:53 Success means having meaning, being present, and sending the elevator back down — the most important measure is how many other leaders you create.
13:15 People facing end of life count backwards from their final moment and make decisions accordingly. Entrepreneurs would lead better if they thought the same way.
16:28 After losing Ryan and surviving sepsis, Dr. Burcham never once thought about his bank account — only the unfinished conversations and things he hadn’t yet said.
17:31 The most valuable thing a leader can do is get to know their people beyond their resume. In the absence of that knowledge, empathy is almost impossible.
21:56 Safety is not the absence of pressure — it’s the absence of fear. In the absence of fear, people take risks they never would otherwise.
28:08 Grief is not a single emotion. It is a cauldron — and no two people grieve the same way, even when they’ve lost the same person.
32:08 We have far greater capacity to achieve than we give ourselves credit for. We begin to believe stories other people tell about us instead of looking inside for what’s actually there.
39:24 The last night of their trip to Venice Beach, Dr. Burcham and Ryan watched the sunrise on the Santa Monica Pier and talked. Ryan was dead two months later. That trip is now the most vivid memory he has.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

michaelburcham.com — Dr. Burcham’s personal website, books, and resources for entrepreneurs
Dr. Burcham on LinkedIn — Weekly newsletter for entrepreneurs, available to subscribe on LinkedIn
Vanderbilt Center for Entrepreneurship — Dr. Burcham’s faculty home at Vanderbilt’s Owen Graduate School of Management
consulttara.com/book — Schedule your free consultation with Dr. Tara Perry

If you’re ready to take your healing to the next level, schedule your free consultation with Dr. Tara at: https://ConsultTara.com/book