Chad Blackman could tell you exactly how salvation works. He grew up in church and knew all the right answers. And still, in his own words, he "fundamentally missed the gospel." In this episode of Jesus Wants The Rose, Apollo sits down with Chad, a full-time firefighter in the Bay Area who spent eight years in vocational ministry, went to seminary, and still preaches at Shelter Cove Community Church in Modesto about once a month. The two know each other from their Shelter Cove days, and it shows. This one is part testimony, part theology, and part catching up between two guys who were both deeply shaped by the same Matt Chandler sermon. In this conversation: • Why Chad and his family moved to Tennessee in 2022, why those three years were so hard, and why they came home to Modesto • What God was sanding down in Chad out there, especially an identity built on achievement and a paycheck • Seasons of consolation and desolation, and why God doesn't waste a single one, good or bad • How Chad "tripped and fell into ministry," with other people seeing the gift in him before he saw it himself • The Matt Chandler sermon, The Explicit Gospel, that changed Chad's life and gave this podcast its name • Growing up believing he had to earn grace, and the seven years he spent running from a God he thought was fed up with him • The turning point: Colossians 1 and Romans 5, and the news that Christ came after him while he was still rebellious • Alistair Begg's "man on the middle cross," and why we need to preach the cross to ourselves every day • Monergism vs. synergism, Ephesians 2, and why even our faith is a gift from God • A fresh take on the mustard seed: small, yes, but it spreads like wildfire once it takes root • Why Chad left full-time ministry after a year of wrestling, and how he landed at Stockton Fire Department • The real history behind fire station Dalmatians and fire poles A few things to sit with after this one. The gospel was never something you earn, it's something Christ starts while you're still running from Him. Hard seasons aren't wasted seasons. And a little faith is enough, because it's built to grow. (Heads up: we fought some technical glitches during this recording, so you'll hear a quick restart around the 21-minute mark, and the conversation wraps up a little earlier than we planned. We'd love to have Chad back for a part two.) If this conversation encouraged you, subscribe for new episodes, share it with a friend who's been trying to earn what's already been given, and drop a comment letting us know what stuck with you. Chapters 00:00 Intro and catching up: the Tennessee years and coming home to Modesto 05:02 What God was sanding down: seasons of consolation and desolation 10:36 Firefighting, preaching, and tripping into ministry 14:05 The Explicit Gospel and where "Jesus Wants The Rose" comes from 19:58 Raised in church, still missing the gospel: seven years of running 25:16 The man on the middle cross and why even our faith is a gift 30:05 The mustard seed and letting God into every corner 32:55 From the pulpit to the fire station 37:54 Dalmatians, fire poles, and wrap-up Chad Blackman Shelter Cove Community Church (Modesto, CA): https://sheltercovelive.com/ Mentioned in this episode Matt Chandler, The Explicit Gospel (book, Crossway): https://www.crossway.org/books/the-explicit-gospel-hcj/ Alistair Begg, "The Man on the Middle Cross" (Truth For Life): https://blog.truthforlife.org/the-man-on-the-middle-cross-said-i-can-come Jesus Wants The Rose on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@jesuswantstherose

What if the name that stopped your scroll wasn't a jab at Reformed theology — but a mirror held up to every Christian heart?

Jonathan and David of *Deformed Theology* sit down with Apollo Tull for a conversation that started with a name that made him do a double take, and landed somewhere much deeper: humility, unity across camps, and what it means to look at every person as an image bearer.

In this episode, the co-hosts unpack why they hit record in the first place — they were already the nerds having these conversations, felt the Lord say do it, and took the brakes off. They explain what "Deformed Theology" actually means: not mocking the Reformed, not claiming to *be* Reformed, but an ongoing examination of the things that warp how we see God, His Word, and His people. Citing 1 Corinthians 13, they frame the name as an admission that we see through a glass darkly — we don't yet know fully as we are fully known.

From there the room opens up: two kinds of people in the world, thinking of the unsaved as the "not yet," how wide God's love really is, Christian metal shows where the gospel reaches people who'd never walk into a Sunday service, the "prenuptial agreement" we try to cut with Jesus, submission as either slave to sin or hidden in Christ, and the aroma of Christ.

Warm, pastoral, and deliberately non-combative — this is gospel conversation for people tired of us-versus-them Christianity.

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What do you do when the church that's supposed to welcome you turns you away for how you look? Magdalene Rose is a Christian rock and metalcore artist who has spent her whole career answering that question — with dark lipstick, heavy breakdowns, and a testimony she refuses to keep quiet.

In this conversation, Magdalene shares the long road that got her here: growing up in a band with her sisters, marrying into the Seventh Day Slumber family, and turning her hardest season — a years-long fight with anorexia and depression — into the song "Teeth Eater" and a movement of people getting matching tooth tattoos to mark their own recovery.

We talk about the prayer that changed everything, the one she prayed when she couldn't even want to get better: "God, help me want to want this." We talk about why seeking help from doctors and therapists isn't weak faith. And we talk about the spring several churches canceled her shows — not over her music, but over her appearance — and the pastor's apology that came afterward, the part of the story nobody usually gets to hear.

This is a conversation about belonging, about the people Jesus actually sat with, and about what God does with the wreckage.

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