Please don’t invite me to your church’s Halloween party.

Or Harvest Festival.

Or Jesus-ween.

Or Holy-ween.

Or whatever-the-fuck-you-call-it-now-ween.

I was raised in fundamentalist evangelical Christian culture. And now that I’ve deconstructed, I’m starting to realize just how fucking weird some of this shit was.

That's not true. I always knew it was fucking weird.

But now I can just be fucking real about it.

Buckle up.

I'm entering my Zero Fucks Hot Girl Summer Eras Tour phase.

Which is really impressive considering I'm a people pleaser.

Are you mad at me?

Seriously? Are you?

Would you like me to give more fucks?

Anyway. Halloween.

In this 3-minute-ish rant, I pretend I was just invited to a church Halloween party and start giving zero fucks with my response.

Of course, in real life I would just say, "No, thank you."

But in the land of comedy, I can pretend to be a badass motherfucker.

I assure you.

In real life — I'm not.

#Exvangelical #Deconstruction #ExvangelicalComedy #ReligiousTrauma #FaithDeconstruction

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